anxiety; trixya

twenty-six

and so katya stopped seeing trixie once a week. she saw her every evening, well as much as they could.

trixies notes and medical history had been passed over to violet chachki, who was katyas friend but also another very good therapist.

trixie was on her fifth appointment with violet when she really started to open up to her, it didn't come as easily as it did with katya and then she considered maybe she had made a mistake. maybe she should've turned katya down and continued therapy with katya instead.

as soon as she got out her appointment she rang katya, in tears.

"what's up?" trixie heard katyas worried voice answer the phone. "katya i think i made a huge mistake not letting you be my therapist anymore." trixie sniffed.

"why?" katya asked. "i can't open up to violet like i do to you, we don't have the same connection." trixie said. "look kukla, it's going to take time." katya said, softly.

"maybe we should break up." trixie said, suddenly. "let's be rational here, you just need to calm down. look i understand it's hard, you'll work through it." katya said. "what if i can't?" trixie cried. "i know you will." katya said.

the girls were both silent for a while.

"do you want me to come round tonight?" katya said, breaking the silence. "no, i need to think." trixie replied. "don't overthink things." katya said. "i'm not i just need space!" trixie shouted. "look just don't go breaking up with me." katya said. "i can't make any promises." said trixie and quickly hung up the phone.

she was angry at katya, she was angry at herself for having feelings for katya and she was angry at herself for taking out all her emotions on katya. she was so angry she punched the brick wall of the outside of the therapy office. she immediately winced in pain and saw her knuckles begin to bleed and swell up.

why did she always have to fuck everything up?