What if I was nothing (Tommy Conlon fanfiction)

Part 12

"Grandpaaa!!!!" the door to the apartment slammed open and two kids ran inside, jumping to the Paddy's arms.
"What the hell happened here? Don't tell me you have found a girlfriend!"
Man and a woman entered the living room and looked around.
"Wow, Paddy, it looks so great here!" blonde woman was smiling. "Look there is a sofa and you can sit on it!" she joked and then she noticed me, standing in the kitchen, I was watching them quietly.
"Well, I haven't find a girlfriend, but Tommy have. And because life plays with us in a special way sometimes, she is making me a company these days," Paddy winked at me and I came closer.
"Shani, this is my son Brendan and his wife Tess," he introduced us.
"Wow, you're dating Tommy. I have never thought he might be dating someone, who actually looks so normal and decent," Tess watched me enthusiastically. "Hey, kids! Stop opening the fridge!" she suddenly exclaimed and went to the kitchen.
"It's nice to meet you," Brendan gave me a smile and we sat down.
"Did you guys watched Tommy yesterday? What a fight, huh?" Brendan opened cans with beer and Paddy switched TV on.
"Is uncle Tommy going to be on TV again?"one of kids came to me and asked me.
"I think so," I smiled. "Hey, how about we have a popcorn?" I looked at Tess and we went to the kitchen together.
"How long are you with Tommy?" she asked me.
"Just shortly, not even a month to be honest."
"Wow, that's something," she smiled.
We stayed in the kitchen and talked meanwhile guys were watching the MMA tournament.
"Come on guys, you're not alone here!" Tess tried to calm them down a little bit. "No chance," she sighed.
"He is different, isn't he? I mean, he looks more open," I watched Brendan and thought out loud.
"He wasn't like that, when I met him. We had to work about it, he was like Tommy, quiet, he didn't talk too much, he didn't want to share," Tess gave me a glass with wine. "Give him a time. His last relationship ended bad, he might need to find out, that you are not this kind of a girl, you know?" she took a sip and her eyes got open widely, when she looked at me.
"Damn," she cursed, when she realised, that I have no idea, what is she talking about.
"Tell me, maybe it will be easier to understand him more," I said.
"Well, they have been dating for maybe three years and she dumped him, when he was in Iraq. She just found somebody new. Brendan told me, that they made a Skype call few days later and Tommy was really upset and he didn't want to talk a lot."
"Oh, okay... That's interesting," I mumbled amd stared to the floor.
"Do you think that is the reason, he is not answering and he is all mysterious, when I ask him about some things from his past?"
"Might be, maybe he just needs some time before he starts to trust you fully," Tess shrugged her shoulders.

My mind was full of thoughts that night.

You see, there is a big difference between ego and soul. Ego is selfish, suspicious, meanwhile soul forgives and moves you forward. Ego wants a cage around you, so you could think you are safe. Soul wants you to not dwell on past and risk a little. Live your life.

It took me one conversation and my ego completely swallowed my mind. I ended up being pissed, angry and jealous.
I was at work in Sunday morning and I swear I felt like drowning. Stone so heavy on my chest, crushing my bones.
"Mary, I have to leave," I looked at my friend, tears in my eyes.
"Go, it's fine," she answered concerned.

I took a cab and in few minutes I
got out and ran to the building behind the town. I needed help, I needed to connect with my soul again. I spent there the rest of the day, surrounded by animals. I didn't even had a chance to see Tommy winning the tournament. I went to the stable, saddled my favourite horse and went for a long ride to clear my head.

I slept in the observation room and woke up early. And with a new day, I realised how stupid and presuming I was. He cares about me so much, that he gave me home, when I needed it the most, he told me, he is going to win a big championship for me. What more do I want? Tommy is a good guy, with the biggest heart, so he's a little complicated. He will never be an open book, he might never be into silly sweet speeches, but he shows, that he cares in his own way. So, how could I ended up being so... So so stupid. Just because of some chick he dated before me.
It's been a long week, so many things happened and I think I need a break, something new to clear my mind.