What if I was nothing (Tommy Conlon fanfiction)

Part 13

"I have a surprise for you," we met in the city the Monday afternoon and Tommy gave me a bag with a new gym clothes inside.
"Uhm, is it because of all the sweets I eat?" I asked laughing.
He chuckled and we went to a local gym together.
"Heeeey! It's our champion!" Everybody immediately greeted and celebrated Tommy, when they saw him entering the door.
"So, now what, champ?! A world championship?" one of the man came to us tapped Tommy on his shoulder.
"Yeah, I don't think so," Tommy frowned and I noticed he stared to the floor vacantly.
"You're okay?" I asked, when I changed my clothes and we met in a training room.
"Sure," he gave me a smile, but something was wrong, I could tell, I missed that shine in his eyes.
"Tommy?" I whispered, but like he didn't hear me, he took me by my hand and explained, why he tookme here.
"I've been thinking about things, that happened last week. I want you to learn few basics, so you'd be at least able to defense yourself, run away, if you were in trouble."
"Okay, that sounds like fun. Our new common hobby, I guess?" I winked, but he remained all serious.
What is going on in his head, for God's sake?
"For example now," he scanned me. "The way you're standing, look, all I have to do is to push you with my finger and you fall down."
He was right, I was playing with my hair, arms partly crossed and my legs too. So he just touched my shoulder and pushed a little bit and if didn't catch me with his arm, I'd fall.
"You never told me about your tattoos," I raised my eyebrow, when I noticed a part of one slightly coming out from under his sleeve.
"You have never asked," he finally smiled and pulled me closer to him.
"Shani? I just want you to be safe, alright? We can talk later, now let's go to train a little bit."
Talk later, sure. I can see it, I ask him about why is he in this weird mood and he tells me, that he is fine or that he doesn't want to talk about it. I sighed and followed him to join the training with the others.
He said basics and I swear I almost died during last few five minutes. I just sat on the floor and tried to convince my heart, that I am way too young for a heart attack.
We were the last one there, owner of the gym came to Tommy and gave him a keys. "Don't forget to put keys to mailbox, okay?" he said and left.
"He just leaves us here like that?" I was surprised.
"Yeah, he knows me and I am here almost everyday," Tommy sat next to me.
"Maybe you should eat less sweets and more real food after all," he joked.
"You don't have to tell me, I kinda figured it out myself," I tried to catch a breath finally.
"Shani?" he took my hand and looked at me. "Promise me, you'll come here regularly. Even if I couldn't come, you'll take a lesson from one of the guys."
"Why you shouldn't be here?" I wondered, but he didn't answer. "Tommy, you... You've been acting so weird whole time. What happened?"
"Nothing happened, it's been a tough last few days, can't you just say, that you promise me to come and train here?"
"What is going on? Tell me," I stood up and I must say, I was pissed off already. "I am not a mind reader, you know? But I am not blind, so tell me now. What's wrong?"
"Nothing, that should bother you for now," he replied and stood next to me.
"For now?" I repeated through my lips. "You know what? I'm gonna take a shower."
"Shani, wait," Tommy grabbed me by my wrist.
"What?" I looked him in the eyes and here we are again. Shani wait and then quiet, silence, just his eyes talking, screaming. But how can I tell what do they say if he is not able to at least give me a hint.
"Let me go," I whispered and went to the dressing room leaving him behind.
Why does it have to be so hard with him? Why can't he simply say, this or that is happening, please help me with it. Or I want to talk, I just don't know how to say it. Dear God, I know he cares, but shouldn't be an adult person able to talk? What is his problem?
I took down my clothes and wrapped myself to the towel. I need a hot shower now, so I could release all that stress and bad feelings. I don't wanna argue, I have wanted to spend the evening really differently after the tournament, but things are not always as we plan. Or are they? I stopped the running water and thought for a few seconds before I turned to the doors.

Tommy was sitting on a bench, water drops falling from his hair on the floor, few stopped on his chest. He raised his head, when he heard doors click behind me. He didn't say a word, but I could see how surprised he was to see me.
I came to him and ran my fingers through his wet hair.
"Tommy? You took a shower without me?" I said softly and kissed him. Smirk that appeared on his face, that was something new, something so exciting, that I wish nothing but to feel his lips on me. He surprised me, when he tore down my towel and with a special smile he watched me for few seconds. I began to feel shy a little bit, well it was the first time he saw me naked and it felt like he will stare at me for eternity.
Well, he didn't. He pressed his lips on my skin and I had a feeling, that he is going to eat me alive. He started to kiss me on my chest and his hands found its way around my hips. He pulled me closer and moved his mouth to my neck and I felt my skin burning as he bit me. It seemed to me like he wanted to find out how does my skin taste.
I will never forget, how my muscles were vibrating in a new, unknown way. It was arousal and fatigue at the same time. I was both turned on and exhausted. But I knew, that I have to have him. Here and now.
I was panting for air, when he pressed me back against the wall in the shower. My body was so confused, the cold coming from the wall and at the same time the heat from Tommy's body pressing against mine.
He suddenly stopped and took my jaw gently into his hand and ran his thumb along my bottom lips. His eyes met mine, he opened my thights and with almost unnoticeable move of his eyebrows he asked for permission and I answered by pulling him closer to me.
This is where all the tenderness vanished. He grunted into my skin, when he entered me and I had a feeling he will dig a holes with his fingers into my chest. It was a beautiful moment full of pleasure and pain. Combination of this made it perfect, even though I was sure I will have bruises all over my body next day.
It didn't last long. I crashed myself on him unable to stop moaning, my face burried into his neck. His shoulders were lifting up and dropping down as he breathed heavily. He turned a shower and the hot water pouring all over me, it felt like everything bad has been just washed away from us. Only me and him, we stayed in our raw forms.
I was covered in his embrace and when I finally looked at him, he smiled at me softly. "What now?" he asked me.
"Well, I had a reservation in a restaurant, but I don't think they would wait for more than an hour for us. So, how about we go home and  continue doing... this."
"I can't imagine a better way, how to spend the rest of this day," Tommy whispered to me and he touched my neck gently with an excuse in his eyes. "I'll try to be more gentle," he kissed a hickey, that started to gain every shade of red and purple.
"You don't have to," I said softly and moaned, when I felt him starting to bite my collarbone tenderly.