What if I was nothing (Tommy Conlon fanfiction)

Part 19

Next 6 months has passed. Six long months without him. Is it even possible that it's been a year? That we haven't been able to celebrate Christmas together? Mine or his birthday? My gift to him, that I've packed is on the table in my apartment, untouched, waiting for him in silence, as me.
New Year's party at my dad's house began and I was in my room, sitting on the bed, crying. Tommy should call me like an hour ago and nothing. Not even a hint of him being online, no message.
I can't do this. I hate to pretend, that everything is fine, when I am dying inside.
"Where are you, darling? Hmm? Fighting for the greater good? Hiding somewhere?" I touched his face on a photography, that I have in my wallet for few months.
I took it after one of his training. He chated with guys, he was happy, smiling, he was himself, in his element. Big guy with a gentle heart.

I have decided to go away. I am not a party type girl, never will be, so I think I can spend the night in the centre with my wolves. They might need a mental support, when all the firework crap will start in the town.

"Hey, Shani! Where do you think you're going?" I heard Peter.
"I'm leaving," I wiped my eyes quickly, but it was even worse, because now I had mascara all over my face.
"You know, today is not a party with masks," Peter started to laugh. "Here," he took my hand and led me to the kitchen. "Let me help you, you look like Marylin Manson."
"Why did you cry?" he asked me, when I finally cleaned my face.
"I don't wanna talk about it. I don't want to ruin your mood. You all are all laughing, celebrating new year... What's the point...?"
"Oh wow, somebody could use a glass of wine. Or maybe two, hmm?"
"More like whole bottle," I murmured.
"You don't have to say it twice, beauty," Peter stood into my way.
For crying out loud, is he flirting with me?
"I should go," I said and tried to avoid his eyes.
"Hey," he gently grabbed my hand. "Come on, talk to me. We are friends, aren't we? We can share our feelings."
"I miss Tommy, I wish he was here with me tonight. It's been so long, whole year and he's been so inactive lately. He doesn't call and when he does, he barely speaks. I am worry about him," I spit everything out quickly.
"What if he wants to end it with you?" Peter asked me and I gave him blank look.
"Well, usually, when men act like he does, they want to break up with a woman, but they just don't know how. I would bet, that next call will be one of the last you two will have."
"Stop it," I said and he suddenly pulled me closer and kissed me.
"Oh, well, it's not midnight yet and look at all the love here!" my father entered the kitchen with Liz.
"You know, heart does, what heart wants," Peter grinned, he put his arm around my hips and I stood there and did nothing. You could have knocked me down with a feather.
"Shani, I must say I am pleased, to see you with this young man," my father looked at me with a satisfied look in his face, Liz nodded her head approvingly. "We'll give you a space, then be sure to join us," my dad said and in that moment Peter leaned to me, to kiss me again.
"See? When you have money, patience and a great plan, you will get what you want after all," my father smirked and Liz frowned, because she had no idea, what is he talking about.
"I give her month or two to forget that Mr. nobody and everything will be just right."
"But what if he comes back? He can appear here everyday, did you think about that?"
"Yeah, I seriously doubt that. Told you, sweetie, when you have money, you can make arrangement for anything in the world. What... What is that noise?" he turned back toward the kitchen.

***

"This is Tommy Conlon, leave the message."

"Hey, Tommy, it's me, Shani. Happy new year, my love. I'm here with my pack, they are a little bit nervous about fireworks, so I'm staying here tonight with them. I just want to say, that I love you. It feels like eternity, when I held you, lay my head on your chest, kissed you. Uhmm... God, I wish you were here. How about a new year resolution, hmmm? To come back to me... I know, I'm not helping... I feel so alone, I just had a big big fight with my father. You'd say, that people can change, but they don't. You know what... uhmm... Nevermind. I hope you're safe..."

***
3rd of January

"Oh hey, it's Shani!" Tommy's friend greeted me, when I've entered the gym.
"Hey, Frank, how was your holiday?" I waved.
"Good, you're here early!"
"I couldn't sleep, so I told myself, that I need to kill off some energy."

"Tommy is away for too long, huh?" Frank waited for me in a training room and helped me to get my gloves on.
"Yeah," I sighed. "But still... You know there are small things in my life, that connect me and remind me of him. Like three days ago at my dad's new year party, I punched one guy, who kissed me between his eyes. Seriously, it was brilliant KO, Tommy would be proud I can tell," I giggled impishly.
"So, my training is beginning to bear fruit! Excellent!" Frank laughed and clapped his hands. "Well then, let's start with a warm up and then get your ass to the ring!"

"Hey, Shani? He'll be back soon, I believe it. It was the same in the past. He vanished and then one day doors got open and we were like - look, who is back! And he acted like nothing extraordinary has happened. Be patient, you have got us, his family and even though your father is a colossal di..."
"Language!" I stopped him laughing.
"Dingus, I wanted to say, of course," Frank cleared his throat theatrically, "I believe he still cares too."
"Weel, agree with everything, but that part about him caring seems unlikely. But yeah, thanks Frank, I appreciate the support and your help," I said smiling.
"Be careful! It's freezing out there, I can't remember such a horrible winter, to be honest."
"See you tomorrow," I winked and left the warmth of building and entered the freezing fog outside.