What if I was nothing (Tommy Conlon fanfiction)

Part 6

"You are not going to wear this, are you?" Mary put her hands on hips and shook her head.
"Why? What's wrong?"
"Jeans and shirt on a first date?"
"Do you want me to go shopping, now? It's almost 8!"
"You can at least take my blouse!"
"Oh my God! He didn't even said it was a date, he just asked me to go for a dinner! And it's not so bad!" I turned so I could take a look at myself, but Tommy was just entering the diner.
"Is it really so bad?" I got suddenly nervous and my heart started to beat like crazy.
"No ... Yes," Mary frowned, "but it doesn't matter anymore. Here, my key from the apartment and I wanna hear everything!" she whispered impishly.
"Hey," Tommy came to us and I turned back to him.
"Hi," my voice broke in the shortest word in the world. How possible is that?
"Can we go?"
I just nodded, because I felt like I lost ability to function like a normal human being. I hope I haven't forget to walk. Let me see, left, right, okay, I am not that pathetic.
"So, where are we going?" I asked him after few minutes.
"We are here actually," he chuckled and we entered a restaurant.
Nothing fancy, average restaurant, not huge, not overcrowded, pleasant music was playing from a stereo. Wait, is it a Led Zeppelin? Oh, yes, hey are playing Stairway to Heaven! That's enough for me, if I can stay here and listen to this music and have something to eat, I'm fine for the rest of the night.
"How do you like it here?" Tommy asked me, after we sat behind the table. "You seemed a little pensive."
"Oh, I am sorry, that happens to me a lot. I get cought in my own mind and I am lost in the train of thoughts. And to answer your question, I like it here. I was just thinking, that when they play Led Zeppelin, that it can't be bad at all here."
"Okay," he smiled, I saw a relief in his face. I should stop doing that thing. It is like I am talking to myself, he will think I am crazy. Yes, I am doing it again.
"So, tell me," I said, because I was worried he will really think I am some weirdo, "where did you serve?"
"Iraq."
"How long?"
"Two tours."
Uhmmm, okay... "You don't want to talk about, do you?" I asked, because I saw him getting a little bit nervous.
"Not really, sorry, I don't think it is an interesting thing to talk about."
"Are you still in the army? Are you coming back there?"
"That is a question I am asking myself every single dat, to be honest. And I still don't know the answer. Everyday is different, so many times I was ready to quit, but... I don't know... I can't decide, what would be better for me, for my father."
"I understand that, it is like 'what am I going to do with my life, if I quit this episode'? Right?"
"Exactly," he nodded.
"And what do you do here? Just hanging out?" I smiled and tried to change a topic a bit.
"Well, I have money from army, but I also make some money at MMA tournaments."
"Oh, you lost me, MMA?" I had no idea what is he talking about.
"Let's say I fight to win a money," Tommy grinned.
"Can I see it?"
"Sure, anyone can come, but would you have a guts to see breaking bones, blood,..."
"Hello?! I study to be a veterinarian, I see blood and bones almost everyday, so you really can't scare me with that!" I winked at him.
"Damn, I forgot," he frowned.

After the biggest burger, salad, fries and few chicken wings, waitress came to ask if we want something else.
"Nah, I'm full," Tommy said and looked at me.
"Well, actually, I'd like to try that hot fudge sundae cupcake," I said looking at the menu.
"Sure," waitress smiled and left.
"You're kidding? No way you can eat that after all that food!" Tommy began to laugh.
"Wanna bet?" I raised my eyebrow.
"Alright, what for?"
"If I win, you'll have to tell me some secret about you and I'll have to tell something about me, if I loose. But it has to be a big one! Oh - dear - Lord..."
I opened my eyes widely, when I saw the big sundae, that waitress have put in front of me.
"You should know, there is always a spot for dessert in your stomach." I grabbed my spoon and chuckled.

"So tell me, what is your deepest secret?" I asked him, when we were on our way to Mary's place. Truth is, I could barely walk, I couldn't wait for a moment I get rid of my jeans and put on my pyjamas.
"I don't have secrets. What I think, I tell it straight. I don't hide things," Tommy said quietly in a deep voice.
"There is something sad in your eyes, Tommy," I finally encouraged myself and I held his hand. "I can tell, sometimes I see the same reflection, when I look to the mirror."
"What if I was nothing? Look at you, you're smart, you study and a great future awaits you. And me? A soldier who doesn't even know what to do with himself and he kills off his frustrations and anger during brutal fights."
"Are we really that different? You look at me and see that big house and shiny neighbourhood. But that's not me, I don't own there a thing. If my father kicked me out, I would had to sleep on the bench in a park. I... I like you, Tommy. For being you. Not for what you do or don't have." I felt like I began to blush, thank God it is almost a midnight and the red colour on my cheeks can't be seen - with my shaking voice, it's different, I can't control it, no matter what. And I bet he really feels, that my hand is sweating like crazy.
All of the sudden, he put his hands around my waist, pulled me closer and kissed me. His hand slid up to my hair, I felt the other one carresing me on my back.
It was so intense, gentle and passionate at the same time and I sank into that kiss completely.