What if I was nothing (Tommy Conlon fanfiction)

Part 28

"Are you sure about it?" Tess watched me nervously bitting her nails.
I was quiet.
"You see, maybe... Maybe he just looked like your father, I mean..." Tess continued.
"This can't be true, right? Right?" she looked at Tommy and Brendan.
"I am not helping, hm?" she stopped bitting her nails and stood up.
We were in their kitchen, I was sitting on chair, Tommy and Brendan standing in front of me, leaned against kitchen counter. Tommy cracking his fingers.
"It was him," I whispered. "I am pretty sure."
"Son of a bitch," Tess sat again and waited.
"It seems like a dream, you know? Flashbacks, just pictures, moments," I closed my eyes. I felt soft touch on my hands, Tommy hunkered down in front of me, put my hands inside his.
"I see Frank, from the gym, waving. Fog everywhere. The car. It was not an accident, he did it on purpose. I wasn't crossing the street, I was- I was on a sidewalk," I opened my eyes crying.
"Shhh," Tommy took me from the chair and hid me in his arms.
"Jesus, Brendan, what are we going to do?" Tess looked at her husband.

"Why would he do that? I think, that you were fine. You went to the new year party, right? Well, then... I don't-" Brendan thought out loud.
"They got into fight," Tommy suddenly remembered. "I have a message, a voice message from that night. You were in the center and you told me, that you had an argue with him."

"Do you still have it?" I asked and he took his phone.
I have listened to my voice speaking.

"...I feel so alone, I just had a big big fight with my father. You'd say, that people can change, but they don't. You know what... uhm... Nevermind. I hope you're safe."

"Any idea what was that fight about?" Brendan spoke up first.
I just shook my head.
"Can- Can I hear it one more time?" I took Tommy's phone and put it on my ear. With every single word I have heard memories started to crawl from the deepest parts of my mind.

***
"Are you crazy? Did you just punch him? What hell is wrong with you, Shnai?" my father yelled at me from across the room, when he saw Peter, leaning forward, his nose bleeding.
"Liz, ice, bring some ice!" he ordered and Liz quickly took some from the freezer.
"Well, I have a boyfriend and he knows that and still he dared to touch me, kiss me. So I think, that he simply got what he deserved," I murmured.
"This shit again. Boyfriend? You mean that man who left you and went to Iraq? To what? To prove, that he is somebody? He is nothing, just a poor wimp craving for your attention, for my money. Refusing to die. For God's sake, why hasn't he died already?"
"You bloody bastard!" I grabbed plates to my hands and threw first one at him.
"Shani!" Liz screamed my name scared.
"He is a bigger man than you'll ever will be!" I threw another plate and took one more. Peter ran away and everybody came to see what is happening.
"Go on, throw another one, let them see, what can happen, when a girl from a great family starts to fuck with a scum," my father said smugly.
"You think this works on me? That I care what do they think about me?" I threw the plate and it crashed into pieces.
"You are just a poor selfish man, you just care about yourself, nobody else. Money, that is all that matters to you. I am so sorry for you, Liz. I hope you will see what I see now and you will do the same thing as I am about to do now." I turned and went to the door.
"Where do you think you're going?" my father yelled.
"I thought you were able to change. I was wrong."
"Stop, Shani!" he went after me and took me roughly by my wrist. Frank trained me well, it took me just two moves to get out from his grip and push him, so he fell on the floor.
"Life can be so cruel, don't you think? You have this luxury house, rich friends and still you can't buy happiness and you have just lost your only child."
"Don't you dare to leave me! I won't allow that! I won't allow you to be with him, ever!"
***

"Jesus," Tommy watched me unable to say anything else.
"You have to go to the police, Shani."

I stood there, watching the road through the window. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I just wanted to wake up from this hideous nightmare. This can't be true.

"What she needs is a rest now," Tess took me by my hand.
"But, honey, we have to act quickly, now. She said, he is away now. We have to pack her stuff to be sure she will never ever have to go back there! And then..."
"Brendan, love?" Tess put her fingers on his lips and silenced him.
"Shani, come with me. I will take you now to our bedroom, where you can take a nap or just rest for a while," she led me to the room and I followed her like a ragdoll. Vacant eyes, just two black holes.
"Here, take this. It will help you to sleep, okay?" Tess sat next to me on the bed. "Don't worry, we will take care of you. No matter what happens, we are here for you."
"Thank you," I whispered and she left me alone.
I've heard them talking downstairs. I was sitting on the bed, watching the white pill on the night table.
I was so sick, that even the idea of drinking the water made me want to throw up. So, I just laid down, covered with blanket. And fell asleep.

Warmth of human body. Arms wrapped around me. His big hands holding me. Soft lips kissing my neck.
"How could I lived whole year without you? I can go sleep, because I know, that when I wake up, you will be next to me or near me. That you will kiss me good night and then wake me up with kiss again. Sometimes I have this terrible feeling, fear, that I will close my eyes and you won't be here, when I open them. That you will be gone and-"
"You know this will never happen again. I will never ever leave you alone, not anymore. I swear," Tommy whispered to my ear. "You cried, when you were sleeping. Did you have a nightmare?"
"I can't remember."
It was a lie. I had a nightmare. About loosing part of me, about loosing part of him. About loosing us.

"So, what's the plan?" we came to the kitchen.
"Police station?" Tess gave me a sad smile.
"Well, there is one problem. I... I have my wallet in his house. I took different bag today and left it there."
"You said he is out of town, right? So, how about I give you a ride there, you will pack your stuff, leave a note for his girlfriend, that you are staying at your friend's house and we will earn some time to... Make things right," Brendan spoke calmly and he brought that calm state of mind to me.
"Yes, I agree. Let's do it now. I... Just take stuff and-"
"And you will never have to enter that house again," Tommy finished the sentence for me.