ʟɪᴍɪᴛʟᴇss

Chapter 18

Song - Let me out by NU'EST W

“ Chapter 18 - On Us ”

*Tzuyu's Pov*

Sorry, something came up. I closed my eyes momentarily as Mingyu presses his soft lips on my forehead.

I put on another fake smile, trying to make it appear more on the bright side before nodding my head.

I saw him glancing at me before opening the door and closing it, for a moment his eyes met mine, I wondered if he could see the sadness that spread through my heart and even if he did, he just left.

I picked up my dress, before walking over to the washing machine where the clothes that had to be washed were kept on top of it and picked up a big shirt and wore it, not in the mood of going upstairs just to wear something then coming back down to lock the door and kept the dress I had wore to the party on top of the washing machine.

I took the keys to lock the door. I have a habit of locking door at night because since I live alone, anything can happen if the gate is open. What if someone breaks in? So, I always double check if the gates are closed and I am safe or what before sleeping.

After checking all the doors, I walked towards my room with my spirit out of my body. What was more important than me?

I opened the curtains and stared outside, waiting for him to come. I waited for a long time, but there was no sign of him.

I sighed heavily before going to my bed and covering myself with the sheets, feeling the warmness melting my body. I closed my eyes, wishing he didn't went to her.

Wishing his something important, wasn't her.

Anything but her. Please.

•••

The main door creaked open and fear spread throughout my body. I clearly remember, closing all the doors and I am the only one who have the keys.

The sound of footsteps coming upstairs and my heart beat sound came out almost as in a beautiful but scary rhythm.

I was never fearless as I show myself.

I have always been afraid.

It had been three or maybe even four hours since, I went to sleep. But I didn't find it. I did for some moments but the haunting nightmares came and I woke up.

I stopped having nightmares since some months. My therapist said, my nightmares are something which I controlled. She said, I was the one, shoving myself to the road of misery and loneliness.

The day she said that, it was the last session I had with her because after that, my nightmares just disappeared and now after months, I had the second nightmare. I had one when this year started but since it never happened again till today, so I ignored it but today, realising how severe it was, I think, I need to start seeing my therapist again.

I saw the death of my parents, I saw Mingyu saying he loved me then suddenly he disappeared. The next thing I knew, he was lying on the ground with blood on him.

The moment I opened my eyes, I made no noise but snuggled into the pillow, letting the tears fall down with my eyes wide open.

I don't know for how long I cried without making any noise.

I hate myself for crying like this because crying without making any noises became my habit and I never really let everything out of me.

Whenever I want to let everything out, I cry but the noises just doesn't come out. It's like they are waiting for someone to lend me their shoulder and tell me to let it all out, only then can I cry peacefully with noise.

It's like, I am waiting for someone to tell me to cry as much as I want and that person will just lend me their shoulder, hold my hand as I sob, and will never judge me for how I am and who I made myself become.

And I wish that someone is him.

I don't want to accept I am in love with him. I don't. I don't love him.

I'll lie to myself until I start to believe it. Loving someone like that, will only bring tears in my eyes. And he will never be that one person to tell me to let it all out.

I won't let him be.

But he won't let you stop him.

I sure do love him, I won't show it.

Trust him.

I just need some light to fill up my darkness, I need a hand to take me out of here. And his darkness will just fill my darkness with more.

I closed my eyes at the sound of the knob being turned around that had chills going down my spine, knowing someone has just entered my room.

Tzu...I know you are not asleep. Relief fell over my body, realising it's just Mingyu.

I can see those tear stains on your pillow. He says, and I feel the side of my bed heaving up.

Well, oh fuck.

I opened my eyes to see his heavenly eyes in front of me, staring at me as if I am some kind of masterpiece.

I don't know about myself, but he sure is.

Why were you crying, baby. He whispers in a soothing voice as I got up and layed in a sitting position and he does the same after me.

Nightmares. I whisper back, my voice sounded unlike me because it didn't came from me, it came from the broken me which I hide.

His body wrapped around mine and he layed my head on his chest, I heard his rhythmic sound of heartbeat as I layed there.

I feel like quitting. I whisper my voice breaking in the middle as he ran his hands back and forth around my hairs.

On what?

On us.

Silence fell upon us. Neither did he said anything, nor did I. His hand stopped its actions and we stayed there still.

I won't stop you. You can, if you want. He whispers after a moment which felt like an eternity.

You are scared of love? I ask him as I lift my head off his chest and lay beside him in a position from where his mesmerising eyes were straight in front of me.

Not from love. But from my craziness. Limitlessness. He replied as I stared at him, amazed at his choice of words.

I am not capable of loving. I whisper, his hand touching my cheeks and wiping the tear that just fell.

If a monster like me can love, then why an angel like you can't? He questions, staring at me so lovingly.

People who love someone are never scared of anything and those who are scared, are people who can never love. I tell him and he narrows his eyes at me, confused a little, so I clear his little confusion instantly.

I am one of those people.

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Hey guys!
Hope you enjoyed!
The next update will be on
this Sunday.
Love ya❤❤