I still got your back, you stupid bad-ass

Heartbroken

(Kenny's POV)

You can do this.

You can do this.

You can...

I took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears, before I opened the door and entered their mansion.

Everyone was in the kitchen having breakfast. I could hear their voices from here.

I exhaled and looked at the ceiling for a long minute.

This is what's best for him. This is what he wants to do. It's none of my business anymore. It's Chris's life.

This is what's best for him. This is what he wants to do. It's none of my business anymore. It's Chris's life.

I repeated this over and over in my head. I inhaled, exhaled, then put a smile on my face and walked to the kitchen.

"Morning everyone!" I cheered, sauntering in casually.

"Kenny," Leigh hugged me, sounding relieved. "I was so worried."

I looked at her, feeling confusion. "Didn't Hannah call you guys?"

"She did," Leigh said, shifting uncomfortably.

"Well, we're glad to have you back," Mrs. K said. "Have you had breakfast yet?"

I nodded. "Hannah and I ate before I left. I didn't wanna impose any longer." While I was talking, I felt Chris's eyes watching me.

I ignored him.

Not really the best tactic...but if I was afraid of looking at him. I might break down crying again.

I smiled at them before climbing upstairs. There, I bumped into Mr. Kingston who was going down.

"Oh, sorry uh...I didn't see you." I laughed nervously.

He nodded. "Are you okay?"

I sensed that the question was implying more than he let on.

"Yup!" I chirped. "Why?"

He looked at me, confused--and worried.

I think Chris might have told his dad about the time when he promised to marry me...and now Mr. K is worried if I might get depressed and start cutting again.

"Well, breakfast is waiting!" I told him. "I'll be in my room if you guys need me."

I turned to the left hall before he could say anything more.

Once I got to my room, I laid down on the newly-made bed. The maids must have changed the covers.

I was just staring at my ceiling, wondering about what happened to us.

There was a soft knock on my door.

"Come in," I said, sitting up.

I thought it was Leigh...or Mrs. K, even. Or Hannah. But I just saw her, so her name didn't even cross my mind the minute I heard the knocks.

But who I didn't expect to see was Chris.

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Chris's POV

It took all my man-pride to knock on her door.

But it was stupid, that something as simple as knocking could be so difficult.

When I opened her door, I took in the atmosphere of the room. It was...blank. Not the same kind of cheerfulness that emanated from Kenny back then.

She was lying down on her bed, propped up by her elbows. She looked kind of surprised to see me.

"Chris?" she said, hesitantly. I almost smiled, hearing my name coming from her lips.

"Hey," I said, keeping my voice quiet, detached.

"What's up?" Kenny asked, trying to be normal. I could see through her, though. Her eyes conveyed the same sadness I saw at the restaurant. But the more I looked at her, it seemed like the pain underneath those hazel eyes only intensified. Like she couldn't bear looking at me.

I decided to end it once and for all. This was going to hurt her as much as it's going to hurt me, but she'll only hurt for a little while. When she gets over me, she'll find the guy who's right for her. The one who's good enough for her.

Jeez, it sounds like I'm going to kill her or something.

But I guess I will kill her--emotionally.

And I'm sorry, Kenny.

I fixed a cold expression on my face.

I said the words before I could hesitate.

I'm really, really sorry.

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Kenny's POV

"What's up?" I asked casually.

He didn't answer. He just looked at me with an emotionless mask on his face.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

"Um...do you need anything?" I asked carefully.

Thank god my voice didn't crack.

Chris stared at me coldly.

"Don't pretend like nothing's wrong. Just get over me already. It'll be much easier for you."

I swallowed, stunned. How--how can he say that...?

It's not going to be easier.

It's going to be much worse.

"Wha--"

"Face it, Kendall. I'm marrying Rozlyn." Chris said, sounding bored. "Save yourself the regret, and stop being so dramatic. You're doing nothing but worrying everyone else."

My throat had locked up, and words failed me.

"I don't even love you anymore."

*********

Why did I have to fall in love with a stupid, heartbreaking badass?

It's my own fault.

I can't blame Hannah, Jerry or Leigh...

I can't even blame Chris.

It's his choice. If he wants to marry her, then it's up to him. Not me.

I was the one who fell in love with him.

I was the one who walked away from him.

I was the one who was being so dramatic.

I was the one who worried everyone else.

Maybe he's right.

Maybe I DO need to move on.

But the question is...will I be able to?

********