sleeping lightly, i'm officially woke by a pair of lips placing one sweet kiss against my cheek. different shades of red burn hot on my face, chances are he was probably watching me while i was sleeping. always waking up before i did, to make sure i was safe and that i didn't leave him alone in bed.
"good morning babygirl." his voice was soft and gentle, his thumb caressing my jawline. i kept my eyes shut, leaving him to think that i was still asleep. the strums of his guitar soothing me, wanting to here more of it and just lie here with my eyes closed. partly playing a trick on him, but it wasn't meant to be that way.
i felt his feet ruffle in the sheets next to me. placing his guitar to the side, hearing a tap as it the floor. he laid down on his side, taking me into him.
his breathing on my neck, carefully pulling my small hairs behind my ear.
"my little angel," he spoke quietly, his voice shaky. "you're perfect."
"even when you are sleep, you don't know it, but you're stunning." i felt like i had to smile, but he'd know i was awake. wanting to hear more of his peaceful voice.
"i am in love with you." he cooed, holding me tightly. i could feel his breath hitch as he began talking again. the first time i'd heard him talk to me while i was asleep, must do it often.
"you heard me." he chuckled faintly. hearing the drawstring of his joggers tighten, so that he'd be more comfortable.
"i am in love with you." repeated, leaving himself to wonder what true love really was. both of ya realized that it was here the entire time.
"and i know that love is just a shout into the void, and the oblivion is inevitable..." trailing off, his teeth clamp down to clench his jaw.
"and that we're all doomed, and that one day all of our labors will be returned to dust." he breaths, the pad of his thumb brushing against my bottom lip. back of my head hitting his muscular chest, his arms keeping me warm.
"and i know that the sun will swallow the only earth that we will ever have." words stood strong and were truly from the heart. leaving me to wonder why he didn't tell me these things while i was awake.
feeling something wet drip against the back of my neck, i'd not once seen or heard him cry before. i can't actually verify that he is crying because my eyes are closed but from the wet tears hitting my neck and the unsteady breathing, i can. i know that she's crying, and it's all over me.
"and i am in love with you." kind words going unspoken. "sorry."
why apologize?
"i want to be able to tell you these things while your awake but having to look you in the eye, while telling you that i love you would make me cry even harder than what i am right now. i'm just worried that if i did tell you, i'd loose you and everything i just said would've meant nothing." sobbing, lead alone for me.
"the thing is my love, we all want to be remembered. but you're different from everyone else. you know the truth." his large hand wipes away his tears from the flesh of my neck. entangling our legs, seeming as if our bodies were one.
"you don't want a million admirers, you just want one. here i am, you got it." my heart
felt full but wanted to break all at once because i was faking being asleep so that i could continue to hear what he had to say and to just hear his voice. i didn't like to hear him cry.
"maybe you weren't loved widely, but you are loved deeply. and that's more than most of everyone in this world gets." he breathes harshly. taking my limp hand and intertwining it with his.
"these hands are my hands. still warm, and painted this grey, silverish color." he's no longer crying, but speaking into existence.
"i just want to hold them. i'm willing myself to imagine a world without us, and what a worthless world that would be." his hand shook in mine, taking a second to squeeze it.
"you're so beautiful." enlightening.
"i don't get tired of looking at you," i can feel his smile beaming, anyone could from a mile away.
"i never worry if your smarter than me because i know that you are. you're funny without ever being mean." his hands wander about my body.
"i love you." he speaks. "i love you, god, i'm so lucky to love you."
i'd never felt love or an enormous amount of affection from anyone. just him. what an amazing guy he is.
deciding to open my eyes, i do so. stretching my body so that he knew i was awake.
"babyyy!" he cheered like an elated child. acting as if anything he said had not come out of his mouth. "how'd you sleep?" i could see his smile, i could actually see his smile.
i flip over on my other side to actually see him, i hug his waist. completely disregarding his question.
"johnny?" i smiled whole heartedly up at him.
"princess?" he questioned before pushing my hair back out of my face, connecting his lips to the tip of his nose.
"i love you, too."
sorry about yesterday i had to much going on. i didn't update at all. i love u, so much.♡
