Life goes on

Feeling Empty

As I'm sitting here on the floor
The tears are starting to fall
No one is here to pick me up
I'm hiding so I don't raise any suspicions
I want my parents to think I'm happy
I don't want them to feel like they failed

I'm tired of bottling up my feelings
Yet everyone whom I seem to tell leaves
I wanted to talk to two people in particular
One whom I can only find six feet below
And the other one whom I don't want to bother
So I'll have to pick myself off the floor
And put a smile on my face and face tomorrow

This life that I'm living won't be important
I don't think that I can face tomorrow
I don't think I'll still be here to see my future
I don't think I'll see my parents grow old
I won't be here long enough to have kids
I have this feeling I wasn't meant to stay long

I wonder how I'll go out of this world
Will I do it myself or will sometimes odd happen?
Will I wrap myself out around a tree?
Will I take one many too pills?
Will the last thing I hear is a gunshot?
Will I be surrounded by family around a hospital bed?
Will I be sound asleep in my bed?
Will I hit my head and lose blood?
Will it be like in my nightmares where his hands around my neck?
Will it be face down in a pool of water?
Will it be my body shutting down?
Will it be when God calls me up?