Life goes on

Back to You

My body wants to feel your touch again
My ears crave to hear your voice
My arms want to wrap around you 
My fingers want to be holding your hand
My lips want to feel your lips 
My eyes want to see you next to me
My nose wants to smell your cologne

Christmas is a time for love
But it's making me feel lonely
And all I want is you here
You to celebrate Christmas joy
I want it to be us kissing under the mistletoe
We should be watching Hallmark movies
We should be decorating Christmas trees

Matching pajamas, Christmas caroling, and family time
I want to share these special memories with you
Yet, I know I have to move on 
But no one feels the same as you do

It's been over a year and yet I still hold feelings
I look at dads with their small kids
Wishing that would be us in the future
I see couples happy all over the place
Wishing that was us now

I still glance over at the table you're sitting at
Hoping maybe one day you'll return the same look
One that shares a feeling of love
I wanted you to be my first everything

One day, I hope we run into each other and feel the same way
But right now I need to move on but I don't know how to
You were my first kiss and you'll always have a piece of my heart

Somebody asked if I knew you the other day 
It made me realize how much I miss you
I talked about how we dated 
About all the nice things you did with me
How cute you were and how gorgeous your eyes were

Time is supposed to make things easier
Yet, it's made it everything but easier
I wish you were by my side
I wish I had you to count on 
But there's a lucky girl who has everything I want
She has you and so much more

I thought I was through with thinking about you
But suddenly this time of year has me wanting everything 
I think about when we were dating
I would've given you everything

I thought I was over these sleepless nights
I thought I was over crying about you
I thought I was over missing you
Didn't know that time wasn't a good healer

Used to drink to not think about you
Used to cry until I couldn't anymore
Used to think bad about me
Used to do anything to get you back
But it never worked, none of it did

Took a thousand steps forward 
I ended up taking a million steps backward
Back to the days where all I wanted was you
Looking forward to the days of tomorrow
Days where I'm not heartbroken over you

I can see your goofy smile and hazel eyes
The sweet, sweet charm of yours
The crazy sense of humor 
The way you could talk to anyone
The partying but still taking care of everyone
The way you used to call me at 2 AM
I miss every single thing we used to do 

Hopefully to the days of tomorrow, I'll be a million steps forward
I'll never have to feel the way I'm feeling now or any time
Hopefully, in the days of tomorrow, I'll never walk backward
I'll never forget my first love, my first kiss, and my first heartbreak
September 23. 2018, is a day I'll never forget
Take me back to that day, I want to do everything different