Life goes on

To the Guy

Here's to the guy that will make me forget everything
Forget about what makes the world spin
When we look at each other that everything stops
To the one who won't keep me guessing if he loves me or not

But here's to the guy that made me lose hope
To the guy that made me stop picking up my camera
To the guy who I stopped dancing for
All cause I didn't see the world the same after him

Here's to my dad who has been there since day one
He yells at me all the time and puts me down
He makes me feel like I can't do anything 
All cause he's in a bad mood and treats me like crap

Here's to my brother who is gone too much to know
To much to know that I cried every time he left when I was a kid
I understood he had a different dad but he could have alternated weekends
Instead of breaking the weekends in half and every Friday he left

Here's to the guy who left this earth way to soon
Someone I always thought was going to be here forever
To the guy who made me believe in Jesus again
Whom I can't stop thinking that you're here but I know you aren't

Here's to all my guy friends who have all wanted something from me
Even though, I know I'm not ready for anything y'all kept pushing
It's pushed me to the point where I wouldn't talk to anyone for days
Always making me feel guilty when I said no and begged me to change my mind

Here's to the guy who begs me to sneak out at 3 AM
Yet, when I make plans in the day light you ditch me
Even when you agreed to meet up, yet I keep saying this time will be different
It's never different. You never show up and I always feel rejected

Here's to the guy who made fun of my glasses when I was younger
I never wore those glasses ever again and didn't buy those glasses
Yet, I always thought they were cute, but you called me a nerd
They are sitting in my room a couple prescriptions off

Here's to the guy who choked me and I ended up having nightmares
Everyone I told my story too ended up leaving me 
Especially the first guy I ever loved and didn't sleep for weeks
I called people hoping that I could sleep again and not scream

Here's to the guy who made me a night owl
You're in jail now and you still have those piercing blue eyes
You kept me up til 4 AM and then we slept 
But you made fun of me when I couldn't pull an all nighter

Here's to the guy who was my first kiss and made me believe in love
He also is the guy who made me lose all hope in this world
He was really sweet in the beginning and became ruthless in the end
I thought he loved me until he posted a girl five minutes after we broke up

Here's to the boy who made my life worth living 
My precious nephew who has the cutest little smile
I couldn't see myself not watching him grow up
I was the only one he'd sit with and not cry, my sweet boy

Here's to all the guys who shaped me into who I am 
Who I have cried in the bathroom floor about
Who are the reasons I have anxiety about stupid stuff
And made me love and hate life at the same time

Here's to the guys that made my smile a little different
Who ripped my innocence when I wasn't ready
Who made me think that the world isn't a good place
Who changed my whole life perspective for the better and the worse