Life goes on

Caterpillar to Butterfly

That gleam left my eyes after you left my life 
I had to learn how to breathe again after you walked away 
I stopped doing my favorite things because I felt like I didn't know how to
Basketball, photography, dancing, acting, reading, laughing and singing

I picked up a basketball for the first time the other night
Still made every shot in the dark and could barely see the hoop
The adrenaline was still there like it had never left
The ball needed someone to breathe life into it
It hadn't been moved in years, but it was finally brought back to life

I see your eyes looking at me every time I dance
My life danced for you when you were around
My legs felt like they couldn't move around anymore
I walked in a straight line every time I heard music
It felt weird to do even a cartwheel when you weren't supporting me
Until one day,  I started to feel a beat and it was my lifeline

You said, "I'm going to be in the front row of your first play."
You weren't in the crowd and I cried for two weeks
You were the one who I went through with it for
I started feeling the expressions coming back to my face
Instead of this straight face, there were emotions
Emotions came back into my life

I cried for a solid three months and then there were days
Days started turning back into weeks and then more months
Finally, my eyes held back the tears and I promised to never cry
But my eyes fell for you the moment they saw you
Then instead of tears of sadness, they became tears of joy
I laughed at everything and tears came flowing down 
I started laughing again for no reason

I sang with you in your truck to our favorite songs
But when I didn't have that, my voice didn't know how to sing
I used to sing along to everything, but now my lips stayed shut
Until I started leaning on my faith in Jesus
I sang along to everything in front of anyone 
It no longer mattered to me 

I used to pick up my camera whenever I felt like it
After you, I just said, "that would be a pretty picture."
My camera sat in my closet hidden from the world
Rainbows, deer, snow, and the beach came and I still wouldn't pick up my camera
Even my nephew came and my camera became a foreign language to me
I cried when I picked it up the other day and saw your face
This camera was my seeing eye into the past and I no longer wanted to live in the past
Photography has yet been something I've come back to 
I take pictures with my phone, but it's rare like lightning striking in the same spot

Reading was second nature to me until the day you came into my life
I didn't need a book in front of me when I could read you 
You were the words on the paper for me
I have yet to pick up a book and read it all the way to the end
When I was a kid, I read anything I could get my hands on
I read words as I needed them to survive
I was a caterpillar instead of a bookworm, so I became a butterfly 

My heart started beating again just not for you
But I couldn't return to the person I was before you 
I started piecing my broken heart back together again 
I might have put a few pieces back wrong, but I have found other things to enjoy

I enjoy riding roller coasters and I'm not afraid of them like I used to be
I can talk to anyone now, instead of being afraid and hiding in the shadows
I enjoy drinking with my friends and being spontaneous
I was afraid of not knowing what the outcome was with you

Heartbreak is a difficult thing to come back from 
I felt like when the caterpillar goes into a cocoon
It was a dark period in my life but eventually, I transformed into a butterfly
Some days aren't pretty, and I hibernate for a little while

I wish I could go back and tell myself don't be afraid to grow up
It has its ups and downs, but you'll learn how to love again
Love always comes back around
Pieces may break but I'll always piece it back together
It's never the same, but you'll learn something new

Transform into a person that isn't afraid to love
A person that knows how to laugh 
But leave the past in the past and learn how to breathe on your own