Fate

9

"Hey Doe, I've got some news to talk to you about."

I turned off the TV and sat up more so I could look at Rachel. She sat down next to me, and the serious look on her face made me concerned.

"So with you being fully healed and doing physical therapy, the hospital needs to make room for other patients." She paused, hoping I would just understand what she was trying to say.

"So you need me to leave?" She nodded and I could feel the panic settling in. How is she so emotionless while saying this?

"As in live on my own?" Rachel nodded again, and I took a deep breath.

"When do I have to be out?" Rachel looked at her watch, even though that wouldn't do anything and sighed.

"They would like you out by tomorrow, but we already have the first few months of rent payed on an apartment for you. And it's not far from the physical therapy place." She placed her hand on top of mine and gave me a sympathetic glance.

"It'll be okay, Doe. Trust me." I nodded slightly and she left me alone in my room.

On instinct, I grabbed my phone and called Vernon. It rang for a bit, but he eventually picked up.

"Hey Doe, what's up?" Panic welled in my throat at the sound of his voice. The seriousness of everything setting in.

"I have to leave the hospital and live on my own. I don't want to be alone." My voice cracked and a single tear ran down my face. Good thing this isn't a video call.

"When do you have to leave?" His voice softened and I tried to calm down a bit.

"Tomorrow, but Rachel already got me an apartment."

"That's a good start. How are you going to provide for yourself?" My eyes widened and I groaned.

"I didn't think about that. I have no idea, Vernon. I haven't been alone in so long I don't know if I can make it." I started to cry again and I could barely contain my emotions.

"Calm down, Doe. I'll help you figure it out. Do you want me to talk with you until we have a plan? Do you want me to ask my hyungs for advice?" I nodded even though he couldn't see me, but then stopped.

"Wait, are you doing something? I don't want to interrupt." Vernon paused for a second, and I knew it was a bad time.

"So, we might be in the middle of practice, but I'm sure Seungcheol hyung would let me off." I sighed.

"We can talk later. But right now you need to focus. Don't worry about me, I'll start thinking about things and you can call me when you're done. Okay?" I may be in a fragile state, but there is no way I'm going to make him skip practice for me.

"Are you sure you'll be okay though? I don't want to leave you like this." Like what? Broken and afraid?

"I'll be fine Vernon. Go practice your heart out before someone gets mad." More like I'll try to be fine. Not quite sure how long it will last.

"If you say so. Bye Doe. I'll call you when I'm done."

"Okay. Bye Vernon." He hung up the call and I collapsed into my bed.

"There's literally nothing for me to do. At least not without a prosthetic, which I don't have. Ugh! Why can't I just stay here?!" A few stray tears escaped from my eyes and I quickly wiped them away.

I wish every thing hadn't happened.

I wish my life wasn't so hard.

I wish my only friend wasn't halfway across the world from me.

I wish I wasn't going to be constantly alone.

But most of all, I wish I could stop wishing for hopeless things.