More Than My Own Life (Twilight Fanfiction)

You're a Kid

I laughed with Jacob as we walked down the hall to my bedroom. After discovering Edward's ability to read minds two days ago, I had started to avoid him. I didn't have anything against Edward; actually, for the first time, I could think about him in a positive light. But every time I considered approaching him or talking to him, I reminded myself that I had no control over my thoughts. What if I started thinking about Jacob, or had another awful flashback? There were so many things that I didn't want him to see. And because I was avoiding Edward, that also meant that I rarely saw Bella. The two of them were together all of the time.

Now, with Jake, I allowed myself to relax. I could think anything that I wanted, as long as I made sure our hands didn't brush as we walked. Right now, however, I was focused on one thing.

"So..." I drew the word out, letting Jacob know that I was about to change the topic. He glanced over at me and shook his head as he grinned. "Nuh-uh, Nessie. You know I'm not telling you!" I groaned. He hadn't been touching my hand, but we had talked about this enough over the past two days that he knew I would bring it up again.

"But Jake," I begged. "I need to know!" He laughed at me, shaking his head. "Nessie, the whole point of a Christmas present is you don't know what it is until Christmas!" I grasped onto Jakes's arm, careful to touch the sleeve of his shirt instead of his skin. I didn't want him reading my thoughts as my mind was momentarily distracted by how muscular his arms were. I quickly jumped back on topic, desperate.

"Please, please, pleeease?" Jake furrowed his eyebrows but stubbornly shook his head. I knew that I was being unfair. It was so hard for a wolf to deny his imprint. "Jacob," I tried to reason, "I have no idea what to get you for Christmas. I have no idea what to get anybody! Help me out here! If I don't know what you're getting me, how can I know what to expect? How can I know what kind of gifts I'm supposed to match? Are you really going to let me walk into this completely blind?"

Jake blinked and then started laughing. I glared, unamused as I realized he wasn't going to break. Seeing my crossed arms, Jake stopped laughing, though he was still grinning as he put a hand on my shoulder. "Come on, Ness. It's not a battle field. It's Christmas. Nobody expects a present from you, anyway. They know you just got here and that you don't have a car or much money." I groaned at the thought of receiving a bunch if gifts. The idea of not being able to reciprocate made an already stressful situation so much worse.

"Please, Jake? I'm so, so worried. Just a hint?" Jake sighed and rolled his head to look at me. "I'm making it myself. It doesn't cost a single penny, okay, Ness? There is literally nothing that you have to 'match'". I glared at the ground. That didn't help much. That meant that I now had to make Jacob something, and I had no idea what he could possibly want from me. 

"Besides," Jake continued. "I really don't need anything from you. It's going to be a perfect Christmas no matter what since you're here." I smiled at him, though I was still desperately searching my mind for any idea of what he might want. Obviously, I wasn't going to follow his advice. If he was making me something, I was going to make him something, too.

"What about the rest of the family?" I pressed, " What are they getting me?" Jacob opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut off by someone clearing their throat. Rosalie was leaning against the hallway wall, raising her eyebrows at us. She sent Jacob a very clear 'keep your mouth shut' look. I fought to keep in my frustrated sigh.

Rosalie's face softened as she looked at me. "Nessie, honey, you really don't need to get anybody anything." She patronized. Seeing my disbelieving look, she confirmed, "I mean it. None of us expect anything from you. You're a kid." I grit my teeth, tired of everybody using 'me being a kid' as a reason for everything. I couldn't help it that I was the only non-immortal in the house! Even Jake and Seth no longer aged.