More Than My Own Life (Twilight Fanfiction)

Hysterics

Renesmee's POV

I was chewing on a sandwich that Esme had made me while I stared at my book, trying to make sense of it. Then, with a frustrated groan I threw the book across the room. It hit the wall with a thud and fell to the ground. I walked over to the window and looked outside.

There were squirrels and birds everywhere. As a child, I had always been reprimanded for chasing animals. I would have chased around squirrels for hours, but I was always yelled at for it. Now, with no one around, I felt the urge to do it again. 'You know that's weird, Renesmee. Like... Really weird. You're in high school, you should act like it.' But despite my inner debate my feet moved on their own accord.

I seem to be acting on instinct. Logically, I knew what I was doing was crazy and irrational and... Weird. But I moved with impossible speed, jumping out of my window and sliding down the roof. Then, I hopped over to the roof of the garage and jumped to the ground.

My mind was screaming to me that this was insanity. But, I couldn't control it, not at all. How I was able to run so fast, move so quietly was also insanity and yet... Here I was. I darted into the woods and the feeling of home was overwhelming.

I ran through the woods for about 10 minutes and came to an abrupt stop. There was an insanely good smell. What was it? It smells better than cake, than cookies, than every dessert combined. Moving to the left, I followed the smell, making no noise as I walked through the twigs and leaves. I stopped behind a bush and looked through.

A huge black bear was in the clearing. I knew I should be afraid, but the fear just wasn't there. I moved towards it, my mind completely blank. A low growl escapes me as I crouched down. The bear looked my way and stood up on its back legs. I let out a snarl and charged, tackling the bear.

Instinctually, my hands reached up and snapped the Bears neck. My face moved to the beast's throat and my teeth easily penetrated it's skin. I ripped a chunk off and began sucking the blood from the animal. For the first time ever, the ache in my throat vanished completely. I was in heaven.

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Tears burnt in my eyes as I stared at the animal at my feet. Dried blood covered the bear's smooth fur, and it's body was still.

What had I done?

Horrified at my actions, I turned and ran as fast as I could. Within minutes I was in front of the Cullen's house. My hands were shaking and my knees were about to give out. What had I done? How had I done it? I didn't... I... I don't understand.

I cracked the front door open slowly. I looked in and no one was in the living room. I made a mad dash for the stairs, my earlier speed gone. At a normal sprint, I jumped up the stairs. I ran into my room and right as I slammed the door shut I heard Bella shout, "Renesmee?"

My door shut so hard it vibrated the floor. I slammed the lock into place and ran to the mirror. As I took my appearance my shock wore off. I sobbed harder as I saw my tangled hair, my clothes. My once beautiful dress was now torn to shreds, the bottom so short that it looked like a shirt that fell at the very top of my thighs. There were claw marks running down the middle, exposing the bottom of my bra and my stomach. The left sleeve had been ripped off completely, and my dress was only staying up because of a few threads on the right sleeve.

I heard yelling outside of my door. It seems like the entire house was banging on my door. They were pleading with me to open to the door, begging me to come out, the terror clear on their voices.

My sobs turn into hysterics. I let out a broken scream as I ripped my dress off. I threw it under my bed, never wanting to see it again. With a final strangled sob, I collapsed against the wall, my shoulders shaking with sobs.

Suddenly, the door burst open, wood splintering everywhere. I looked up briefly to see Emmett looking around my room, ready to kill someone. Everyone was looking at me. Everyone. The eyes bore in to me. I was dirty. I was shaking. I was in my underwear. I was terrified. And everyone was staring at me.

I curled into a ball and screamed, "get out!" I wasn't thinking about the bear anymore. There was nothing in my mind but panic. I was surrounded. The walls were closing in on me. I felt so, so exposed.

I felt someone grab my arm and I screamed, thrashing around wildly. My hands were restrained and I open my eyes, gasping for breath. In front of me stood Edward, looking at me in utter confusion and concern. He reached over to my bed and grabbed the blanket. He wrapped it around me and pulled me into his lap, rocking me slowly as he hummed an unfamiliar melody.

My sobs turn to tears, my tears turned the gasps, and my gasps turned to sniffles. As I calmed down, Edward picked me up easily and laid me on my bad. Through my confusion, I felt appreciation towards him. He had left the blanket on me.

As I began to fall into an exhausted slumber , I heard Esme shoo everyone out of my room. Then, her hands were on my back, pulling me up. I let out a pathetic whimper. I wanted to sleep. I needed to sleep. I had to escape into a dream land because I couldn't handle the reality.

I felt Esme take off my bra, but I was too close to sleep to care. Then I felt her hands pull a shirt over my head and lay me back down. Right away I collapsed, finally escaping into a deep and dreamless sleep.