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Soooo, I have no idea what this is. So that's all I'm going to say. If it's poorly written, I apologise, I kind of had difficulties attempting to make this well, I don't even know.
Read and I'm sure you'll see. I'll probably unpublish this later anyway.
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It was far too beautiful of a day for the news I received. The sun was shining it's golden glow upon a town blind to the news that would hit in a few hours. Perhaps minutes. News travels fast, especially when you're usually in it. The sky was a soft blue that held white, fluffy clouds in it's grip. Birds chirpped happily, no matter if I cursed at their disregards to my crumbling exterior.
Life moved on as mine stopped. And I was furious. And sad. And frightened. And...I was a lot of things. But right now, I'm numb. Frozen in place. My phone; now smashed, laying on the ground a few feet away. My eyes; sunken and distant as a hot tear escapes, slowly rolling down my face to ensure I knew how close I was to breaking.
It was okay to break at the news I received. I just didn't want to. Not yet. I always told him I was strong. He liked that. He admired that. But he also said it's okay to be sad. And vunerable. He said it's okay to wallow in your feelings for a little while because afterwards, the weight on your shoulders isn't so heavy. He said it's okay to ask for help, because there are people in your life that are willing to help make you okay.
There are people willing to wipe your tears. Willing to listen to your problems and curses that you throw to the world. There are people willing to change their plans around for you. So why aren't I accepting their phone calls? Why am I now shutting people out?
I used to be good about letting people into my life. I used to let them hear my problems, then I'd hear theirs. It was a cycle the ensured we both got a hug and the speech about how things we're going to be okay. But, the only person who I spoke to about my demons, was him. And now God has him back in his arms.
I choke on my tears and inhale a sharp breath as I gasp for air. My chest quickly and violently rises and falls. My hands shake and the dam floods over. I crumble and fall apart at the expense of him. My lip trembles as I attempt to piece myself back together.
