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Can we just talk about how consistent I have been with this series lately? Lowkey proud of myself.
But yes, part four is already here and it's a little shorter than the rest but it is quite sweet. I made it the way it so that we can get into the tour life, something hopefully you're all excited for in the next part.
Okay, I really hope you enjoy, hopefully it's not bad and please stay tuned for Part five coming soon.
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Staring back at an awaiting Shawn with hope in his eyes and anticipation on his lips, I had to look away, a frown settling on my lips. At my reaction to his news, a heavy sigh leaves his lungs.
"I'm sorry, Shawn. This is just a lot to process." I look to him as he nods, understanding my hesitation. "I understand." The words leave his mouth but I still hear the disappointment.
"It's not a no, Shawn. It's just an, I don't know. Yet. I don't know yet." I inhale deeply and brush my hair out of my face. "Look, you've been doing this for sometime; the preforming and the touring but, this is all new to me. And it's scary." My lip quivers and I bite back my bubbling emotions. "Yesterday was the most I've ever dealt with the media and it sucked because I had people who I don't even know, throw hateful comments my way without any context."
Shawn looks away, guilt settling into his features. "And I'm not saying it's your fault, because it wasn't. But, I don't know if I can handle that every day. I don't know if I can handle people knowing the inner workings of my life, especially when it's not pretty." I take in an inhale, Shawn meeting my eyes. "I work three jobs. I hardly get a break. I had a shit upbringing and an unfortunate start to my adulthood. I'm not fit for a life where everybody knows who I am, Shawn."
"You don't have to tell them anything." Shawn pleads but I look away, closing my eyes for a moment as I compose myself. "Sing, that's all you have to do. It's what your good at! Great at. Y/n, don't throw away your dream." I ball my fists, irritated with the conversation.
"I'm not throwing it away, Shawn!" I exclaim, my eyes glaring into his. "I'm simply putting it on hold because I'm not ready. You cannot force me into something that I'm not okay with. Not now! You have no right to come into my life thinking you can fix everything and that you have the right of say. I get you what to help and make my dreams come true. But right now, I ask you to respect my decision and walk away." He looks into my eyes for a few moments, expecting me to back down. When I don't, he looks way.
