"Daddy!" Ruby exclaimed as he smacked Tyler's butt. "That is very not appropriate!"
Tyler giggled, shaking his head at Josh. "Yeah, Jishwa. That was very not appropriate."
"Shut up," Josh laughed, cupping Tyler's cheek and kissing his lips. "You know you love it." He smacked Tyler's butt again.
"DADDY!" Ruby exclaimed. "Stop it! TyTy didn't give you consent!"
"I've gotta give him his annual birthday spankings," Josh said.
"While I am very, very impressed that you know what consent is at the age of 3 and a half, daddy has my consent," Tyler giggled, picking Ruby up. "But I'd prefer it if he didn't touch my butt in front of our kid."
"Is that why I'm goin' to gramma's?" Ruby asked. "'Cause you don't wan' me to see ya gettin' spanked?"
"I mean..." Josh said, raising his eyebrows and looking at Tyler.
"Joshua!" Tyler exclaimed, covering Ruby's ears. "Don't tell her we're gonna have sex!"
"SECKS?!" Ruby yelled. "WHAT'S THAT?"
Tyler's eyes widened. "Nothing! It's nothing! Here," he said, grabbing a cookie and giving it to her. "Eat a cookie."
Ruby quickly ate the cookie.
"But what's secks?" She asked after she finished it.
"It's something very special that two people do when they're married and love each other a lot," Tyler said.
"What do they do??"
"Nothing," Tyler said.
"Get naked and touch each other," Josh said.
"Josh!"
"What?"
"That's not appropriate!"
"It's ok, daddy, he has your consent," Ruby said.
"Ok, maybe you don't know what consent is," Tyler mumbled at his daughter's use of the word in the contact. "Whatever. The point is, it's something very special two people do and sometimes they get loud during it because they get so... excited and daddies want you to be able to sleep well so you're gonna go over to grandma's."
"I'm just goin' ta stay here," Ruby said.
"Nooo, RuRu," Josh chuckled. "You're going to grandma's."
"Whyyyyy?" Ruby asked. "I wanna stay here and give daddy birthday snuggles."
"You can give me snuggles right now," Tyler said. "But daddies are going to have special daddy-daddy time tonight. Just how you and me have special RuRu-TyTy time."
Ruby hummed in thought before determining that it was okay. "Ok. You may have your special time."
"Thanks, Ruby," Josh laughed.
"But only if!" Ruby said. "Only if I, RuRu, get to snuggle with TyTy tomorrow night."
"You can snuggle with me any night, honey," Tyler said.
"Ok," Ruby hummed.
Josh grinned, wrapping his arms around Tyler's waist and kissing his neck. "Joshua..."
"What??"
"Not now."
Josh pouted, earning a look from Tyler.
"Fineee," he groaned.
***
"Gramma," Ruby said as Tyler handed her to Josh's mother. "Did you know that daddies are bouta do secks!"
Laura's eyes widened, as did the boys'.
"I um... well, um..." Laura said.
"B-Bye, RuRu!" Tyler said, trying to ignore it, kissing her cheek. "Daddies love you."
"Bye bye," Ruby said.
"Bye, sweetheart," Josh said, kissing her cheek as well. "See you tomorrow. Have fun."
"Save some cake for me, RuRu," Ruby said.
The boys didn't know why Ruby always needed to clarify her name when she was talking about herself, but they thought it was cute so they didn't say anything.
"We aren't gonna have any cake tonight," Tyler said. "We're gonna save it aaaaaaall for when you get back."
Ruby smiled, very flattered. "Ok. Bye bye."
"Bye, honey."
***
"So," Josh hummed. "What do you wanna do?"
"I'm tired," Tyler said with a yawn. "I'm gonna go to bed."
"It's literally 5pm."
"So? I'm tired."
"Wanna go out for dinner?"
"Can't we just order, like, Uber Eats or something?" Tyler asked.
"If you want, yeah," Josh said, nodding.
So the boys ordered food to be delivered, Tyler putting on sweatpants and a t-shirt and snuggling up on the couch with a fluffy blanket.
"Well don't you just look as sexy as ever?" Josh laughed.
Tyler stuck his tongue out at him. "I'm tired."
Josh kissed Tyler's forehead. "Well I'm spoiling you tonight, so if there's anything in the world you want, ask and you shall receive."
"You know what I've been craving?" Tyler asked.
"Hm?"
"Gummy bears."
"I'll go get you some gummy bears, then. That way you have something to eat during your birthday spankings."
Tyler laughed and rolled his eyes. "You're such a dork."
"But I'm your dork," Josh grinned, kissing all over Tyler's face.
"My dork and my dork only," Tyler giggled. "Couldn't have picked a better person to spend my birthday with."
"Or administer your birthday spankings," Josh smirked.
"Stop it!" Tyler giggled. "We aren't doing that!"
"Ohhhh, I think we are," Josh grinned. "You're 30 now, so you should be preeeetty red by the time I'm done with ya."
"You're weird. But I love you."
Josh smiled, cupping his cheek. "You're weird too," he said, kissing his lips. "But that's one of the many, many reasons why I love you. Happy birthday, baby."
