Being Mrs. Monteverde

23

Kahit na nasa pinakahuli at madilim sa pwesto ay alam kong sya iyon agad akong namutla nandoon nanaman ang nakakatakot nyang tingin, walang emosyon ngunit mapanganib. Agad akong napatingin sa pwesto ni Kate at nila Ciro nakangiti si Kate sa madla habang sila Ciro at Klave ay nakangiti sa akin. Agad kong tinago sa likod ko si Kate. Nakita ko ang pagsunod nya ng tingin kay Kate sabay ang pagtingin ulit sa akin.

"Candidate number 4? Please pick your question. " Tawag sa akin ng Host na syang kinabalik ko saaking sarili. Agad kong inalis ang tingin ko kay Kanvin at bumunot na ng tanong. I need to calm down this is the last portion i don't want to disappoint Gina, Kate, Ciro, Kalev, Tatay, Nanay, Ling, Andy and my friend they have the full support on me and i will let it go to waste.

"So here is your question Ms. Candidate number 4. If you've given a chance to change your past, what would that be and why? " Pagbabasa nito sa tanong. Huminga muna ako ng malalim saka sumagot.

"If I were given a chance to change something from the past my answer is I will not change anything. Even if in exchange I have to experience those turmoils again, I accept it with open arms. Because I received the most valuable and the greatest prize that I could have imagine. After all there is always a rainbow after the rain, all you have to do is to wait, just hang in there no matter what your problem is, because God will not put you on to that if he knows you couldn't bear it. And I am proud to say that I've received my prize and that was my kids. That would be all thank you. " I answered. Masigabong palakpakan ang sumalubong sa amin matapos kong sumagot. Nakita ko sila Nanay maluha-luhang nakatingin sa akin. Pag tingin ko ulit sa direksyon kanina ni Kanvin ay wala na ito doon. He's my huge problem after this, napabuntong hininga ako. Kinakabahan ako sa mamaaari nyang gawin.

"That was a marvelous answer. And for our little kiddo here is your question. If you were given a chance to ask anything from your Mom what would that be and why? " The Host guy said. Inirapan sya muna ni Kate bago confident na ngumiti.

"If I would've given a chance to ask anything from Nanay, It would be, is my father really dead? What does he look like? Is he a good person? That questions I would probably ask before joining this pageant. But now after joining this pageant I realized one thing that we doesn't need a father anymore, Nanay is way more than enough. And I thank you" She said confidently na ikinanganga ko. Literal. Parang hindi sya bata magsalita at hindi na sya bulol.

•••

"Nay I'm sleepy already?" Pipikit-pikit na sabi ni Kate habang karga ni Andy. Si Ciro at Kalev naman ay hawak ko lang.

"Oo baby, teka lang saglit na lang" Sabi ko. Alam kong pagod na pagod na ito. Nasa kalagitnaan palang kami nung masiraan kami wala naman kaming masakyan kaya naglakad nalang kami. Yung dalawa naman ay walang ingay lang pero alam kong pagod na din sila.

"Uyy. Lena congrats huh. Balita ko panalo daw kayo, naku sayang di ko na tapos. Naku ang ganda ganda mo" Salubong sa amin ni Aling Lena. Ngumiti nalang ako.

"Aba syempre naman kanino pa ba magmamana yan" Biro ni nanay dito. Naikinatawa nilang dalawa.

"Nga pala may naghihintay na kotse dyan sa tapat ng bahay nyo. Ala e mukhang yayamanin. Di pa yun bumababa mukhang hinihintay talaga kayo" Sabi pa nito na ikinataka namin.

Pagkarating namin ay totoo nga,  agad akong namutla, mukhang kilala ko kung sino iyon.

"Nay paki pasok nalang po ang mga bata ako susunod nalang po ako. Wag na wag nyo po silang hahayaang lumabas." Aligagang sabi ko. Agad silang tumango kahit naguguluhan.

Nang nasa loob na sila ay sya naman ang paglabas nito. Kita ko agad ang madilim nyang anyo na nakatingin sa akin habang naka-tiim bagang. Walang emosyon akong lumapit sa kanya at hinila sya papunta sa madilim na parte. Isang iglap lang ay nacorner na nya ako, galit na galit nyang nakatingin sa akin at nagtatag baba pa ang dibdib nito sa galit.

"How dare you" He said in the most dangerous tone. "How dare you hide my children from me! " Sigaw nito. Magsasalita pa ako ay nagsalita nanaman sya. "I want to full custody of my kids. You have all the time to tell me. But you never did try, it seems that you don't have a plan to tell me!" Magkahalong galit at hinanakit nitong sabi. Napasuntok pa ito sa pader sa sobrang frustration. Napayuko ito at mukhang kumalma na. "Am I that bad? I know I did horrible things to you and that was beyond unforgivable, but to take away my right as a father? That was the thing that I can't take. That was too much" He said habang nakayuko at alam kong umiiyak na ito dahil sa umaalog ang balikat nito at basag na din ang boses. May kung anong humaplos sa puso at napatakip nalang ako ng kamay ko sa bibig. I know what he feel and I feel so guilty. Di ko na alam ang sunod kong ginawa ko, I hugged him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Ayoko lang ulit na pagdaanan ng magiging anak natin yung pinagdaanan ni Ciro. Lalo na at nagkaka-anak na kayo nun ni Sheena. I promise i've tried to call you lalo na nung kailangan na kailangan ko ng tulong dahil sa nahihirapan ako sa pagbubuntis ko, i've tried reaching you out lalong-lalo na nung magkasakit si Kate na akala ko ay mawawala na sya sakin. Pumunta ako sa office mo nun pero di ako pinayagan na makapasok man lang ng guard, I even beg for them to let me in, but then I saw you looking so happy with Sheena's baby. I back off for a minute, ayoko ng ibaba pa ang sarili ko  pagpinagtabuyan mo ulit ako, hinabol kita pero di na kita mahabol may nakapagsabi sa akin na magmama-migrante na kayo, so I promise myself na kakayanin kong palakihin ang mga anak ko so please I beg you, kahit lumuhod ulit ako sayo,  wag mo silang ilayo saakin di ko kaya, ikakamatay ko. Di ko naman sila ipagdadamot eh. You can visit them" I said habang umiiyak. He hugged me tight.

"I'm so sorry,  I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It was all my fault. Please allow me to make things right. Please allowme to work things out not just for out, but for us too" He said while hugging me so tightly. Agad akong kumalas sa yakap nya. I sincerely look at him and then I place my hand to his cheek.

"You know what. One thing I learned in our relationship is that we don't have to forced things out. I don't want you to accept me just because you have an obligation, I don't want you to force yourself, not anymore. Because love is the most powerful foundation to build a home. Ayoko ng isulong ka ulit. Parehas lang tayong masasaktan. Okay na na okay tayo para sa mga bata" I said. Nakita kong napakunot sya.

"What do you mean? "He asked.

"I want us to be friends. Wag nating madaliin. Please understand " I said. He smiled. A weak one. Then held my hand na nasa pisngi nya.

"Friends. Okay. I understand, thank you, that's more than enough " He said with sincerity in his voice. I just smiled at him.

"Sige pasok  na ko. Pwede kayong pumunta ni Kathlaine dito" I said then tumalikod na. Pero pinigilan nya ako sapamamamagitan ng paghawak sa aking braso.

"Why is it so easy for you to forgive me? " He asked seriously. I was taken a back by his question. Did I really forgiven him? Bumuntong hininga muna ako bago sumagot..

"Honestly. Hindi pa. Nandito pa rin ang sakit. But I want us to be civil with each other para na din sa mga bata. And i know na may dahilan kaya nangyari sa atin yun.  Maybe we're meant to be like this? And you've given me a token, three adorable token.  Kung hindi kita nakilala ay baka wala sila sakin yun nalang ang iniisip ko" I said with a genuine beam. He smiled at me too a light smile with admiration in his eyes.

"You're really a soft hearted person. Thank you" He said. I don't know what to say kaya iniba ko nalang ang topic.

"Uwi ka na. Alam kong hinahanap ka na ni Kath" I said na ikinalakas ng mata nya.

"Oh shoot! I broke my promise again. Got to go" Nagmamadaling sabi nya. Natawa nalang ako.

"Pwede kayong pumunta dito bukas ni Kath" Pahabol ko. Nilingon nya ako at nginitian saka ikinaway ang kamay nya. Saka na sumakay sa kotse nya at nung mawala na ito sa paningin ko ang kotse nya ay saka na ako pumasok.

•••

Itutuloy...