My Everything

13

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" Dan asked. He was collecting his belongings for work as he talked to me in a mild panic.
"Yes, Daniel, I'm going to be fine. Have you forgotten that I've been doing this for god knows how many weekends?"
"I know, I know, but weekdays are different."
"Why do you have to go in tonight?"
"Samatha called out sick and everyone else works early in their daytime jobs."
"So do you."
"Yeah, but I also only work four days a week. Just their luck that I'm off tomorrow, huh?"
"I still think it's a load of bullshit."
"Oh, shut up, Lester. You're just bummed you won't get your Wednesday night shag," he teased.
"Is it that obvious?" I smirked. "Seriously, we'll be fine."
"But she's running now and–"
"And she'll be asleep. We will be fine."
"Okay," he smiled. He gave me a quick kiss before grabbing his coffee cup. "I love you."
"Love you too. Be safe."
"I will be. Call me if you need anything."
"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill, Lester. Now go before you're late."

***

I slept peacefully in my bed that night, which was odd—whenever Dan's not there, on the weekends, I'm always tossing and turning. I paid no mind to it, considering I barely got any sleep the night before, so I just took the good nights sleep with stride.

Around two in the morning, I heard Vivien screaming from her crib. I shot up in bed and ran to her as fast as I possibly could—I've heard her tantrum screams before, but this seemed totally different. I picked her up from her cot, and held her closely to my chest. She grabbed onto my pajama top and began pulling at it in an attempt to get me closer. I gently rubbed her back as I softly cooed in her ear. I placed a kiss on top of her head as I carried her back to my room.

"Alexa, turn on the lights," I called.

The lights turned up a bit as I brought her over to my side of the room. I sat on my bed and stood her up on my thighs—I kept a tight grip on her to make sure she wouldn't fall.

"What happened, Viv?" I said, knowing she couldn't answer. "Did you have a bad dream? Do you miss dad?"
"Dada," she babbled. My eyes widened as I titled my head to the side.
"What, um... what did you just say?"
"Dada," she whined as she pulled at my pajamas. I pulled her in for a tight hug as I held back a few tears. "Dada!" she kept whining.
"Sor-Sorry, pumpkin. Are you hungry? Let's go get you some food."

I picked her up and carried her back to her room. Dan laughed at me for suggesting putting food in her room, but it's hell of a time saver. I ran the bottle under the tap for about a minute, popped it in her mouth and let her hold it, since she's such a big girl now.

"C'mon, pumpkin."

I carried her into the office, sat down in the chair, and set her on my lap. She continued sipping at her bottle as I filed through several desk drawers. I yanked out a folder as I reached for a pen laying in one of Dan's old coffee mugs.

"Hmm hm, hm hm, step to a dude much bigger than me," I softly sang.

I went through the papers, humming the song to myself as I signed what I had to. About halfway through the packet, Vivien dropped her bottle onto the desk. She let out a whine, but I handed it back to her and gently rubbed her tummy.

"Try to finish that, pumpkin."
"Dada," she mumbled.

I smiled to myself as I placed a kiss on top of her curly head. When I got to the last page, I let out a deep breath and looked to the little girl.

"You are my everything," I sighed. "You are the love of my life."

Initials here: P.M.L.

"Everything I have..."

Annual Salary: £20 million.

"And everything I am..."

Occupation: CEO of McKinsey and Company.

"Is yours..."

Signature: Philip M. Lester.

"Forever." I gently set down the pen and leaned back in the chair. "I'm your dad..." I whispered. She looked up to me and dropped her bottle once more.
"Dada..."
"Yeah," I beamed. "I'm your dada."

I picked up her nearly empty bottle and carried her back to her room. As soon as I set her back into her crib, she started crying again. I rolled my eyes and picked her up, yet again. We went back into my room and I began playing some music.

"Alexa, play Smithereens."

You know... I've always been collected, calm, and chill.
And you know... I never look for conflict for the thrill.
But if I'm feeling...
Someone stepping towards you can't describe just what I'm feeling.

For you, I'd go step to a dude much bigger than me.
For you, I know, I would get messed up, weigh 153.
For you, I would get beat to smithereens.

As the song continued, I held her close to me as I quietly sang along to soothe her. She held onto me and I could feel her chubby cheeks smiling against my shoulder. I rubbed her back as I smiled from ear to ear—only if Dan could see me now. I swayed the two of us back in for to the rhythm of the slow tune.

"For you, I'd go, write a slick song just to show you the world," I sang. "For you, I know..." A tear dripped down my cheek. "They think it's messed up to sell out for your girl. For you, I'd go, step to a dude much bigger than me. For you, I know, I would get messed up, weigh 153. For you..." I kissed her head and hugged her tighter. "I would get beat to smithereens..."