Tell Me Why (A Jayy Von Monroe FanFic; BoTDF)

Chapter 25; "Thought So."

I hadn't really unpacked very much, so it was easy to get myself packed last-minute. Jayy left me alone, and probably told the guys to do the same, being that they didn't knock or say anything through the door. I came out of my room for lunch, fully packed, and piled my stuff by the door with everyone else's.

Jayy looked over, head sort of low and looking up at me. He reminded me of an abused puppy-dog, waiting to see if his new owner is going to hurt him too.

I slipped into the seat next to him and gave him a quick peck on the lips. It was more of a sign to him and everyone else that we were still together and everything was still fine.

Dahvie had an eyebrow cocked when I looked back towards the table. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing...?"

"That came out as a question," Aussie told him, just in case Dahvie didn't already realize that.

"Thanks Aus, what would I do without you?" Dahvie turned his attention back to me. "It's just... you kissed him."

"Yeah... I've done that a lot." I said in a "duh" tone of voice.

"Not... 'recently'."

"Well no, I suppose not. And I'm assuming you're not the only one who'd like a lite explanation as to why that is." I sighed. "But it's my and Jayy's business what happens and what doesn't between. All you need to know is we're fine."

I knew I was being snippier than usual. Hell, I was being downright mean. But I felt I had to right now to protect myself. My apathetic shield was up constantly now, and I hated it. These people that I knew and loved and trusted were being shut out and snapped at and abandoned. I just couldn't help it right now. That's why I'd needed to be on my own, so I 'didn't' do this to them.

I slipped my arm around Jayy, and he shrugged it off. Dahvie looked at him in surprise. To be honest, all of us did.

"Don't talk like that to him Hunter. To any of them. They didn't do anything wrong. If I did, fine, snap at me, but don't you dare do it to them."

"Jayy we're fine," One of the guys said. I wasn't quite sure which one. I was too busy trying to deal with what had happened. I'd upset him so much this entire time, and the second I get his eyes to light up again, I do something stupid and bitchy.

"Jayy..." was all Aussie could manage.

"Jayy, come here. I need to talk to you," Dahvie said calmly.

Jayy went with him. I just sat there, feeling like I'd just fucked up the last connection I had to anyone who cared, and even worse, knowing I had.

Dahvie's POV

I led Jayy to the couch and sat down. He sat a little ways away, but not all the way in the corner. "Yeah?" He said, trying to be nonchalant.

"Jayy, listen. I know what she said was crabby, but this is the first time I've seen her kiss you since she found out he was dead. That was the first time she kissed you 'at all' since then wasn't it?" he asked, more like a statement.

"Yeah. So? Doesn't give her the right to insult you guys and be bitchy."

I sighed. "Yes it 'does' Jayy. Because she lost her little brother, then she let herself lose all of us. That was the first thing I've heard her say with any feeling whatsoever in 'days' Jayy. 'Days.' She's hiding. And the second she peeks her head out, you snap on her. I can guarantee you just shut her down again. And this time might be permanent. Because the blow came from you. The one person she knew she had. Or thought, I guess, based one what you just did."

"She didn't need to do that," Jayy said defensively.

"Jayy she has so many mixed feelings right now because she didn't know 'what' to do. Her brother 'died' Jayy. He's fucking gone, for'ever'. She has some right to snap. Sure, if she was normal and okay right now, I'd've told her to watch herself, but she's not. And she could've said a lot worse Jayy. You just took away her 'lifeline'. I'm not mad, none of the guys in there are mad. So 'why' are 'you'?" Jayy looked down, defeated. "You look like a kicked puppy."