Tell Me Why (A Jayy Von Monroe FanFic; BoTDF)

Chapter 30; "Stay."

After trying a time or two more to get me back, Jayy avoided me, or at least that's how it felt. In reality, he was avoiding everyone, hiding in his bunk constantly. It was just like the whole Danny thing, except now I was on the outside, and even worse, I was the reason he was in there.

Naturally, though they did seem defensive of their friend and bandmate, no one blamed me. Jayy was just hurt, really hurt, and we all knew it. But that didn't stop my guilt. I knew I'd done this to Jayy, and that was all I needed to feel like shit.

I wasn't just guilty though. I knew it was wrong, but even so... Every once in a while I got kind of irritated with Jayy for what he was doing. Not only was he avoiding us, headphones in and blaring every time he left his room and wasn't performing or it was a deathly important matter, but he was also doing it to the fans. He even stopped doing meet and greets after a while.

We all understood for a short time, I would explain to the fans so he could get a break, but after about 6 shows of doing this (which was about a week and a half), I was getting fed up. The fans didn't deserve this, even if I did deserve to see them sad and questioning why or begging me to take him back.

Much as I wanted to understand, I knew he was hurting other people now and I couldn't accept that.

I walked by his bunk as I came in from a show and finally heard what he'd been listening to. Stay by Mayday Parade came through his phone speakers.

"Please understand I've been drinkin' again"

Did I not mention that? It wasn't quite noticeable, since we never saw him and Jayy and Dahvie frequently "loosened up" before shows anyway, but Jayy was drunk any time we saw him (if we saw him) after dinner time. It wasn't horrible, I mean he wasn't a bad drunk and it was never before like five or six, but it was there. Another proof that I'd been a major help to Jayy after his breakup with Danny, and another strike against me for making him feel this way.

Regardless, there was one line that caused Jayy's soft, hurt, but still amazing voice to break.

"And all I do is hope."

I sighed. I was so on and off about my feelings when it came to Jayy, and hearing that confused me even more.

"Please."

Did he know I was here? 'Jayy... God please don't ask again,' I thought nervously. Then I realized, he was still singing. I only had a moment if relief before it left me again.

"Stay."