Tell Me Why (A Jayy Von Monroe FanFic; BoTDF)

Chapter 31; "Okay."

I sighed quietly. So that's why he'd been listening to it constantly, it gave him hope, something to relate and hold on to. But some parts of that song just didn't fit. Surely with all of Mayday Parade's songs and albums there was one that worked better. Miserable at Best maybe? It was a cocky-sounding suggestion, but it was truly one of my favorite songs by them, and one I knew was full out break-up pain.

Maybe it was because Jayy knew he could cope without me, but I knew that wasn't how he saw it right now. Maybe because I'm not technically leaving? No, stay wouldn't fit then either. He just might not've found that song.

Then I realized why. Jayy knew I wasn't getting with anyone else, or else he didn't want to think about it.

I couldn't help feeling this guilt over breaking up with him. I walked quickly to Dahvie's room and immediately hugged him. "I still love him Davhie, help please, I do."

He was shocked for a second, but he held on gently and stroked my hair. "Then get back with him, would ya? We all know you want to, just do it."

"I can't Dahvie..." I said, sounding miserable through my tears. I felt like I should continue, but I couldn't seem to correctly word what I wanted to say.

He sighed. "Why not? Honey if it hurts you both this much and you love each other this much, then why are you holding yourselves apart?"

"Because I just have to Dahvie."

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I sighed and irritably ran my hand through my hair. Of all the things that could happen right now, of all the days in a month, why choose this one to start. And during a meet and greet too.

I popped a Midol in my mouth and swallowed a Dixie cup of water. Good thing I brought more of my stuff this time.

I reached under the bathroom sink and, well... ladies and some gentlemen you know the rest.

I walked out and heard the soft buzz of Jayy's earbuds echoing through the quiet bus. I stormed down bunk hall and opened his curtain. "Jayy, what the fuck is wrong with you? I can understand you avoiding me, I can deal with you avoiding the guys, but I can't and won't tolerate you avoiding the fans. They're worried as fucking shit or else they think they did something. I'm done covering and explaining it over and over. Believe me I know it hurts and I'll apologize till I'm blue in the face, but this is not okay!"

He dipped his head and nodded. "Okay."

"What do you mean 'okay'?!"

"Fine. You're right. They didn't do anything. I'll go out." He pushed his laptop to the side and pulled his earphones out.

That pissed me off even more. "You're telling me that because I made that point now you'll come out? How didn't you figure that out on your 'own'? What do you even do in here all day, since you obviously don't think during that time?!" All my anger was coming out now, for Axel dying, for the guilt that was eating me alive, for the pain of having to give up Jayy, for everything. It wasn't my shining moment, and I'll always regret what I said that say, especially whst came next. "You know what Jayy, let me tell you this in a way you might fucking understand-" I sung the next words well, despite my anger. "-If I see you again, don't even say hello."

He looked worried for a moment, but his face relaxed. "I'll go talk to the fans."