Tell Me Why (A Jayy Von Monroe FanFic; BoTDF)

Chapter 13; "Because You're Worth It."

"Oh fuck, dude I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to make you cry, I was just playin'." Dahvie hugged Jayy.

Jayy waived him off. "Y-You're fine... I'll live. But... she heard that didn't she..." Jayy said, deadpanning the last question.

"Yeah... Sorry man."

"It's chill. I said it. Don't apologize for me diggin' m'own grave."

"J-Jayy-" I started.

"I need a cig." He looked at Dahvie. "We stoppin' soon?"

"Whenever ya need to, if we get gas now, we don't have to do it in an hour just before we get to the venue."

"Can we stop at the next station?"

"Sure, I'll go ask if that's okay." Dahvie went off to do so.

"Jayy-"

"Relax, I needed to get rid of him so we could actually talk. When we get there we can be totally alone. And I can get candy."

"You and I both know candy is an excuse."

"That's true, I couldn't give less of a fuck about sugar right now if I tried. But either way, I figure he'll be back pretty quick, so if there's anything you 'need' to say immediately that can't wait 'till we get there, g'head."

"Okay..." I sighed. "Let's start here, you didn't dig your own grave."

"Oh no? I have to wait a damned month before I can do shit. Now I'm fine with waiting, it'll kill, but I can do it, but I didn't exactly need the first time I said that I love you to be right before we start that whole waiting thing. It makes me feel like we just broke up or "took a break" or whatever," he said, making air-quotes around "took a break".

"Jayy, I'm sorry."

"I told you hun, I- sorry, Hun'ter'," he added. "I'm not mad at you. I'm willing to wait, that's just fine. I'm not incapable of having a heart and using it, no matter how impaired Danny made it, temporarily at least. It's not your fault." He sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm just pissy because I embarrassed myself, that's all."

"It's okay Jayy." I hugged him and he weakly rested a hand on my back, if only to alert me that he was okay with the hug. I pulled back and got up on my tip-toes so I could kiss the tears from the corners of his eyes. "Don't cry over me..."

"Why not? You're a damn hard thing to lose."

"You never had me."

He chuckled weakly and heartlessly. "Don't remind me."

"But you didn't Jayy. We've never been together-"

"Yes I get it! Rub it in why don't ya!"

"Jayy, let me finish."

"Finish torturing me?"

"No! Jayy, just let me speak." He rolled his eyes and pulled a small, silver-wrapped package from his pocket. Gum. He put it in his mouth, his way of saying "I'm listening" without snapping at me anymore.

"We're not together. We never were. You're not losing me because I was never yours. But I'm going to be, and not all that far into the future. We have no memories lost in a breakup way, we're just waiting to 'make' memories, waiting to make sure they're 'good' ones. Really good ones. And..." I walked up to him and mumbled in his ear in a low whisper. "Maybe a few hot ones, if you play your cards right."

I walked off to the kitchen, passing a confused looking Dahvie. As I left I heard, "I thought you two were waiting."

Jayy chuckled, but sounded confused. "I thought so too... Are we?"