Can You Feel My Heart (Oliver Sykes Fan Fiction)

Chapter 40-Trying To Hide The Emptiness

I slid my fingers across the fine glass my knuckles trembling at every sudden movement. I hadn't felt so alone in my life before. I thought I could handle the emptiness but everytime I saw him my gut would twist and my pain grew deeper. I knew I had a mission, and I was forced to stick to what I was planning. I didnt have time to be all 'goody goody' with Oliver. So, I pushed him away. Even harder than he pushed me, that was the only solution to both of our problems.

The group didnt seem to mind my pain, or care otherwise. They were just silent movements in the dark and I was a castaway shadow in the far corner. I ate alone, slept alone, walked alone. Every night they'd stop at some fancy Cafe or some overly expensive hotel, or even a fun looking amusement park. But, all I did was watch while they laughed and strutted together. Laying back against the bed board and silenty crying and clutching my knees. How did my life end up so messed up? Who the hell knows..

I wiped away my last tear and slowly walked into the kitchen. Holding myself upright from tumbling to the ground. I don't know why I was so nervous. It was not like I was expecting the band to be sprawled out in the kitchen eating Cinnamon toast crunch and drinking beer. The bus driver/body gaurd was my only friend, And even he shunned me a little.

" I can't take this anymore. This all has to end." I stood my ground and marched out the bus my hands snapped at my sides, my face red and hot. Why do people think they could just keeping hurting me and get away with it?

I'm sick of being the doll people just throw around! I walked down the hotel corridor making my way to the pool. It felt like a dream. As dreary as it was. But I clearly remember everything that happened that day, that moment.

I pulled open the pool gate and marched to where Oliver was 'tanning'. It was only the group and him because they closed it off just for they're 'Private Swim'. I ignored any numbness or any of the stupid butterflies and stood before him. My eyes directly staring into his.

" I need the sun.." He snapped.

" And, I need my bestfriend! Bet we both can't have that now can we?! "

He sat up and stared past me at Matt(K) who was now belly flapping into the water.

" WOOOOHH " Matt said rubbing his stomach and guffawing.

" Are you listening to me OLIVER? " I raised my voice and fought back the emptiness.

" What??! "

I stood, shell shocked, pissed, and done with everything. I don't even know why I was standing where I was? I was supposed to let him go! Not give him the satisfactory of him thinking I need him back. I couldn't hold back anymore tears. My throat stung and my nose turned bright pink.

" I just can't do this anymore Oliver. I'm leaving the tour."

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HEY GUYS!! So sorry for making you wait so long for this update! >.< OMG BRITTS LEAVING?! How do you think Oli will react to this? Will he retort and say he's sorry? Or will he let her go? Find out in the next chappie which HOPEFULLY will be let out real soon! LOVE YALL! I promise to not just leave yall for a month on this cliff hanger.