Coffee Secrets ( Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 21

I felt a sudden stop of movement around me and the cab come to a complete halt. I lazilly opened my eyes and pushed off the window to look outside. The familiar grey building and black doors welcomed me to my home here in England as I stared out somehow uncapable of moving.

"Did I get the address wrong?" The driver asked, putting his hand behind the passenger seat to look back at me. I gave him a weak smile and shook my head, letting out a deep sigh. I still needed a few things, and a shower could really do me justice before I leave. The smell of alchohol and dirt coming from my body was enough to make me wanna hurl.

I pushed the door open lightly, forcing my body out of the car catching a glimpse at my distraught appearance. My curly hair was knotted all over my head, my dress was wrinkled and my eyes were red and puffy. I leaned in closer to get a better look and ran my finger along my eyes feeling the wetness of my tears. Was I really crying in my sleep?

I sighed leaning in the car to pull my three suitcases that were pushed far back in the seats. I heard a loud 'clack' as they fell to the ground beside my feet and I sent a salute to the driver handing him his cash before he drove off. I heard the sound of him stopping at the end of the street along with a few distant conversations and then I heard nothing at all. I was the only one standing on the sidewalk at about 6:45 in the morning.

I disappeared into the building, sending a tiny wave to the doorman and making a beeline for the door. The lift up to my apartment seemed endless until finally I was standing face to door with my apartment.

Once inside I abandoned my suitcases by the door and disappeared into my bathroom climbing in the shower. I cleaned myself impossibly quick but not forgetting to scrub and condition my hair to get out the knots and tangles that were previously visible. I held the towel close to my body as the steaming water raped my skin, and I looked down watching my makeup and other things sink down the drain. I couldn't feel anything, partially because the hot water was numbing my skin, but mostly because the pain from the water over powered any other feelings I possibly possessed.

Hatred was a seriously dangerous emotion. It can drive you insane. But that's the only thing that ran through my mind right now as I stood staring at the wall in front of me letting the water continue to burn my red skin. The next thought that occured to me was the logical one, something anyone in my situation would probably go for in which case would of course be possibly more dangerous than hatred. Revenge.

I was fully capable of playing the same game as she. After all, I learned from the devil herself. I knew and observed every little detail about Stacey, and some of which I could use against her, but then again..what would that say about me. There's already a lot of stuff I need to explain to my dad, one in which being this secret. But I didn't want to have the burden of telling him I did something just as bad to her. I just couldn't. Unlike some people I did have a heart. It may not seem like it, but I did. One that's completely in a terrible state right about now.

Harry deserves to hurt. Caroline deserves to be kept in the shaddows. Stacey deserves..well she deserves a lot of things. But I knew there wouldn't be one moment where anyone would ever call her out on it. Everyone was scared of her, because she's obviously capable of doing shit no normal teenager could. Its sickening. Who gave her so much power to control others?

I turned the water off and a couple of minutes later I found myself in my pajamas, lying on my bed as my wet hair drenched my pillow. The sleeping pill I swallowed upon entering my room wasn't working fast enough as I stared at the ceiling wide awake, my mind running a mile a minute.

The cold air of my apartment seemed uninviting and I suddenly missed home so much. I wanted badly to smell that cinammon air that filled my chicago home. I wanted to see the old lady with her cat that lived next door to us. I needed someone to talk to. Someone who wouldn't judge me, because they had plenty of bad history themselves. Not giving it a second thought, I grabbed my phone from the side of my bed off the dresser and scrolled down my contact list, thanking God I didn't delete it when I was going to. I stared down at it for a minute, pushing myself to sit up on the bed, doubt filling my mind. I took a deep breath and pressed Call before I completely changed my mind. I know I shouldn't have, but a moment later the phone began to rang and I chickened out, pressing 'end' before they answered the other line.