Coffee Secrets ( Harry Styles fanfic)

chapter 24

"Your here because I need to tell you-"

I was there.

Almost.

It was at the tip of my tongue. The truth was finally gonna set me free (or you know he was gonna hate me) I finally had the courage to spit it out and..

He kisses me.

And it wasn't one of those soft kisses or even

It was passionate and I could feel his need and desire and I didn't want to admit it, but I could feel the intensity of his love. And that kiss? It was basically to shut me up so I could see that.

I did. And boy did it set off something inside of me I had no idea existed.

But this isn't how its supposed to go! I'm supposed to leave and go home and be through with Harry and Stacey and just everybody (except El and Lou of course) (they'd never leave me alone)

But I was a child, for today at least. I don't know any better, so I pulled Harry closer. Really close in fact. There was no space between us. Like you couldn't even fit a piece of paper there.

Harry has a way of making you want things that you know your not supposed to. He's a very persuasive person and that's exactly what he was trying to do here. This was his last attempt to get me to stay, but of course we all know that's not going to happen.

I needed to get out of there.

"Harry.." I breathed, snatching my lips from his to look up into his big green eyes, and in an instant my stomach did a flip.

I definately need to lay off the coffee.

Harrys hands were sat firmly on my waist and he held me tightly against his body.

"You can't.. I'm sorry" he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine. I could feel his eyes burning into me while I stared at the floor.

It wasn't even about Caroline anymore. I was over that. It was about me.

My dad taught me that when you care for somebody you protect them from anything that could hurt them.

And I cared for him, you can't just spend months with an amazing person as Harry and not develope a sense of care for them. But the problem was me. I care for Harry therefore its my responsibility to protect him from anything that could hurt him..

Me.

Wow, I've grown in these past couple of months. Lux then would never have put Harry first like I am now. But I guess its for the better. Its time to face the music and unfortunately that doesn't involve Harry knowing the truth. Because that, would ultimately hurt him the most.

I shook my head fiercely. "Harry I gotta go" I whispered, finally looking up at him.

There was no emotion on his face at all. Like his face just hardened, something I remembered from when I first met him. He was blocking it out again, and I couldn't help but feel guilty.

He slowly removed his hands from my waist and just stared at me as I gathered my things.

My hands were literally shaking at this point and I could feel the familiar lump in my throat.

Bitch lump.

I pulled my cardigan tighter around my body and looked up at Harry one last time before gathering the courage to say this one last thing.

"Harry" I spoke, reaching my hand up to caress his cheek. His eyes bore into mine and I sighed.

"Don't shut them out like you did before"

Harry looked a little taken aback but before he could even respond I was out of there.

The cold air hit my face hard, and the wetness of my face from the tears that were now strolling down my face made it even colder.

I fished for my phone out of my pocket,

"Lux, where have you been! You left for coffee like two hours ago!" Louis asked worried. If I wasn't crying right now I would have accused him of being a drama queen.

"Louis" I sobbed, wiping the tears from my face and I looked down at my eyeliner stained hands.

Stupid non water proof eyeliner.

"I'm on my way" was all he said before hanging up.





England is pretty nice when you have the chance to just stroll around. I haven't really had the time to just sit back and enjoy the fact that I was in another country, for the first time! But even now, I couldn't enjoy it. Being here made me sick to my stomach and I was counting down the moment until I got on that plane. And pretty soon all my problems would go away.

I couldn't wait to go visit my dad and even get yelled at by Synthia. Everything seemed better over there. I couldn't wait to feel the warm weather and the comfort of my own bed.

I was gonna sleep for days.

"Lux" I heard the familiar voice breathe heavily behind me and I swung around to be burried in a hug.

Lou.

I think its safe to say me and Lou are like best buds. I never saw it before but he really has been there for me since the begining. Making sure I got along with everybody, inviting me places since I was new, confiding in eachother about our "relationships". Its hard to even think that his and El is as screwed up as mine was with Harry. Maybe because when I met them, they just seemed perfect for eachother from the get go. And the fact that they both actually loved eachother was something you just couldn't pretend.

"Lou" I groaned, trying to remove myself from his grasp.

"You went to see Harry didn't you" he said shaking his head in disapproval.

I bit my lip and shook my head "I plead the 5th"

He rolled his eyes and swung his arm over my shoulder motioning for us to walk.

"That doesn't exactly work over here"

"Well then I choose not to respond" I said stubbornly crossing my arms over my chest, pushing my mornings events from my head.

"Lux seeing him won't help" he sighed looking down at me.

I've never noticed how blue his eyes really were until I've had the chance to actually look in them. They were beautiful.

I shrugged and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"It was for closure" I lied.

Well technically it kinda was.

"And did you get it?" He asked as he lead us through the grass of a small park. There weren't many people out today, and the few that were had small dogs running after them. He led us to a long bench that sat in fron of a tree.

"No" I sighed as we plopped down on the bench staring out into the open space of the park.

"He kept telling me he loved me, and I didn't get to say what I wanted" I admitted, shaking my head and pulling my legs up to my chest.

"He's not lying" louis said looking over at me, and I rose my eyebrow curiously.

"He told me a few weeks ago, on one of those days you and Eleanor go and have your 'girls day' whatever that means. Are you girls buying lingerie?" He asked with a childlike look in his eyes and I let out a ammused laugh.

"Louis!" I laughed, shoving his shoulder. It was barely a real life but it would do.

"Ok ok. He told me then and it was kind of sad to see him try and tell you over and over to just chicken out everytime"

I licked my dry lips and stared across the park as a dog chased a small ball.

My stomach started to feel weird again, and those flips were coming back again. I felt quesy.

"And of course, it took a bunch of alcohol to get him to finally say it" Louis chuckled while I nodded along with his words. I didn't really wanna think about that night right now. It would be forever burned into my mind.

"You two are soo funny, you know that? Its been pretty weird between you two from the start. The way Harry through himself into a relationship with you and you just...I don't know. It was strange. And for a while I felt like something was up." He began, turning to face me on the bench and I gulped nervously.

"And id go to Harry all the time asking him about it but he'd never budge. It was like a secret between you or something. But then I figured you two belonged together then. Because before you came, Harry was always out drinking. Always. He was pulling different girls every night and he'd never be around us anymore. Only when he had too though. I'm pretty sure the band was the only stable thing in his life"

Did I really change Harry?

If anything, he changed me. I was this insecure girl, who got nervous easily and was just over all heartbroken by life itself. Harry made me feel beautiful, and he made me forget about the bad in life and to just enjoy the good because it didn't last long. I had become more free and full of life when I was with him.

Harry changed me.

"And now he barely drinks, he's not out partying that much and he's just himself now. That's all thanks to you Lux. Even his mom realised it" he smiled leaned back in to bench.

"But you two held your feelings in for so long. Almost like your scared to let them out. You, Lux, your just afraid to acknowledge them, and I know going to Chicago is just a way to run from them"

Was Louis the love guru now? I don't know why but it was just irritating me now. He was sitting here examining my relationship while his was still on the rocks.

"What about you Lou?" I snapped, standing up in front of him.

"What's your real reason for coming to chicago? Is it because your scared? Is it because you need a break? Or is it because you just really don't want to except the fact that you don't want to have a baby?!"

I hadn't mean to say all that, but I was getting angry and he was trying to analyse my feelings when I was unsure of them and it just kinda came out. Word vomit.

"A break Lux" he said avoiding my eyes and running his long fingers through his messy hair. I rolled my eyes at his bullshit answer.

"So if you needed a break, why not tell Eleanor that huh? Why'd you keep it a secret that you were going out of the country for christs sake!"

My emotions were all over the place at this point. Not just for me but for Eleanor and her baby. I felt a sense of protection over them because frankly they were all I had right here in this moment. And the other person I had was standing in front of me trying to get away from them.

"Lux" he breathed, holding the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes.

"You have no idea what your talking about, so leave it"

"And neither do you. So id appreciate it, if you left my relationship with Harry alone because frankly there isn't one anyways"

"Ok fine! I was just trying to make you see what you had before it was gone. I don't want to fight with you Lux. Right now, your all I can count on" he sighed, pulling me to sit next to him on the bench and I did so warrily.

"I can trust you right Lux?"

I gulped and ignored the tugging at my heart and nodded my head.

"I know I asked you that before. You remember?"

"Y-yea at the market?"

The first time I lied.

Same promise.

"Yea but that was for Harry. This is for me" He said in a soft voice and I could tell he was looking at me but I refused to look back. But I sighed.

Once a liar. Always a liar.

"You can trust me"







"I am not scared of planes!" I defended, looking out in the window watching people scramble around outside to speed up the process.

"Then why is your hand shaking? Its having its own little earthquake right there!" He laughed grabbing my hand. And sure enough both of our hands began to shake.

"Shut up"

"Its ok Lux, maybe I should go call baby Lux and she can come hold your hand" he teased.

Ugh, we haven't even took off yet and he's already being annoying. I knew this was a bad idea. Bring Louis along? What was I thinking?

Its been an hour since me and Louis had our little argument slash heart to heart. I don't even know what to call it. But he still hasn't told me exactly why he's coming to Chicago. And I was still gonna stick by my theory until proven otherwise.

Wuss.

"Louis its not funny!" I said shoving him and he laughed even harder.

Jerk.

"Your just like Liam. He's always a baby on flights as well Lux" he snickered, pulling out his laptop.

"You have a Justin Bieber sticker on your laptop?" I asked ammused, pulling his laptop down to see the back and sure enough a sticker with JB's face was plastered on it.

He groaned and shifted in his seat as the screen started up. "Niall did that, and I can't exactly take it off or it will get all sticky"

I rolled my eyes and leaned over closer to him to look at the screen with him as he logged into his twitter account.

He smelled like candy.

"What's your twitter name again?" He asked typing away. I rolled my eyes.

"Louis we've only tweeted eachother like ten times since we've met" I said sarcastically.

"Well I forgot, so tell me again missy"

"Lux underscore Valentine ninety four"

"Let's do a twit cam?" He asked. Although he was really just telling me that we were going to do one because he was already setting it up and everything.

"No Louis No. I look a mess, my eyeliners smudged and I just..No!" I shouted trying to pull his laptop away from him, gaining looks from the other passengers. One pulled out their camera and snapped a picture which confused me for a second until I remembered I was with Louis Tomlinson.

"LUx stop, that's not my laptop!" He said with huge eyes and I looked down to see my hand hadn't exactly landed on the laptop when I was trying to grab it, but in fact it landed on his..manly area.

Oh god.

I snatched my hand away quickly and I felt the heat rise to my cheeks in embarrassment. i m pretty sure I'm as red as Niall usually gets.

Louis snickered, typing away on his twitter and my phone buzzed.

Louis_Tomlinson: don't ever get on the plane with @Lux_Valentine94


I rolled my eyes and looked over at him as he replied to some of the tweets. Immediately my phone was bombarded with mentions and I groaned.

Lux_Valentine94: @Louis_Tomlinson shut up, it was an accident


"Come on. Do the twitcam with me" he begged, poking his bottom lip out from under his top in a pout and I rolled my eyes.

What am I getting myself into?

"Fine" I sighed wiping my eyes as best as I could to remove some of the smudged makeup.

"Yes! Tell everyone on twitter"

I rolled my eyes as we both typed it in on twitter.

Louis_Tomlinson: Come join me and @Lux_Valnetine94 on twitcam. She looks hideous (;

I glared at him before sending my tweet.

"How does this even work?" I asked leaning over so I could be seen in the camera.

"Just act normal and answer some of their questions" he shrugged

"And what if they're personal?"

"Skip them"

I nodded as he turned did his little twitcam magic and the counter went up.

"500 people already?" I gasped, looking at my face in the screen.

Ew. I looked worst then I even imagined.

"Ok Lucy underscore Q asked..where are we going? Chicago!" Louis shouted "To the place where they made Home Alone"

I chuckled "is that the only thing you know about my city?"

"Yea" he laughed poking me.

"What do you know about my city? Huh Lux?" He said continuously poking me, while I laughed trying to swat his hands away.

"That Louis Tomlinson lives there" I joked.

"Dude you kinda look like him" I teased poking him back. And he rolled his eyes playfully.

"I look better"

"JBforever1D asked where's...Harry?" I trailed looking over at Louis, and my stomach churned.

Of course they would ask about him. Why'd I do this stupid thing in the first place.

"He's in Narnia" Lous shrugged moving onto the next question quickly.



The twitcam went on for like 30 minutes but I kinda just stayed in the background after that. My thoughts were just taking over and it was hard to concentrate on the fans and my thoughts so I just said that I was tired because a certain Tomlinson wouldn't let me sleep. Which was true of course.








"Lux!" I heard Louis yell, while I was planted face first on my lovely bed. Home sweet home.

And the Cinammon Gah. I literally ran to my room when we arrived, leaving Louis to wander around himself.

"What?" I said mumbled in the pillow, taking in the scent. Cucumbers curtesy of my cucumber body and Hair wash I left here. It felt like I haven't been home in years and it was almost unrealistic that I was even here in the first place. I felt at ease and safe.

"Am I supposed to sleep in this other room?" He asked and I shot up from my bed.

Oh.

Oh.

No.

"No!" I shouted running into the room he had already dropped his suitcases in. I picked up his suitcases myself and dragged them to my room.

"God what do you have in here? Bricks?" I groaned deserting them by my door and falling back on my bed.

"TOMS" he smirked looking around my disasterous room. It was still messy from when I went closet parading and tried to find clothes to wear to England. Everything was exactly how I left it that morning.

"You brought a suitcase full of TOMS?" I asked sitting up on my elbows in disbelief. Who even wears TOMS that much? And how long did he plan on staying here?

Hopefully not that long. I'm ready to leave that life behind me. And him being here wasn't exactly helping. I missed being the girl no body knew and not the girl who was pictured in magazines for dating one of Englands Heartthrobs.

Which reminds me, I should really call Synthia to let her know I'm back early.

Maybe later.

"And vans" he said promptly.

"Your a women Lou" I teased, taking my shoes off.

"So why can't I sleep in the other room? This ones a bit too..girly" he complained openening my empty drawer.

"T-That's my dads room" I managed to choke out.

"Where is he?" He asked curiously sitting at the edge of the bed next to me and I stared at him.

Had I not told him this entire time about my dad?

Right, old Lux kept things to herself. Old Lux wouldn't dare mention her father was dying. Because she didn't want to mention it to herself.

But New Lux. Well she had other things in mind.

I swung my feet over the bed and threw my shoes back on, heading for the door.

"Let's go"