It's not just you - Phan (completed)

Reasons

Sitting there watching the street rush busily below me wasn't as calming as I expected it to be. It seemed I was just watching as the lives of frantic busy bodies wandered around on the street, pushing past other pedestrians. I was hoping it to be quiet as I listened to a few beeping of horns and the wind brushing past my ears and messing my hair as I contemplated death. Although, what did I expect living in the heart of London? I knew Dan would be wondering where I was, but he wouldn't be worrying about me; he never does. Almost always, he is with his girlfriend Becca, snogging her face off on our couch as I watched the love of my life love another. And when he's not with her, he's skyping her or making a video. Nowadays, it's always 'not now phil. I'm super busy', or 'hold on a sec, Becca needs me'. I never spend time with him anymore.

And so, my world had come down to this. It was now; I knew it was certain I would only hurt my mother and brother when ending my life, as Dan had found a replacement for my place in his life, and even my brother was in a committed relationship. So as all these tears rush down my cheeks, I can only think of the shits Dan will give when the police tell him I dead. None.

After standing up, my legs and arms where shaking violently, and I heard the door to the roof swing open. I turned my head, eyes widening as I saw Dan staring straight back at me. He looked petrified, almost as if he'd seen a ghost.

"P-Phil? Phil get down. P-please." Dan stuttered, his arm outstretched towards me, taking slow steps. I managed a cold laugh, shaking my head and taking a shuffle towards the edge. "Phil please. Please get down. We can talk about this inside." He sounded like a counsellor, and the irony was unbelievable. Dan? A counsellor?

"I don't want to get down Dan. Go back to Becca, I'm sure she needs you when I need you the most." I shrugged, and Dan laughed just as coldly back to me. I didn't understand, why he was even here, which just made me want to do it some more. Just jump. It will be easy.

"Phil please. I need you, please." Dan was now whimpering, and he was wiping tears frantically from his eyes. And that's what made me jump.

Dan screamed and fell to the floor sobbing, as he thought I had jumped over. But I hadn't. As I sat down on the wall, I watched my best friend fall to pieces in front of me; but I didn't do anything. He'd hurt me, much to many times. And for some off reason I thought it would be okay for me to hurt him back. Eventually, I saved myself from listening to his harsh cries as he sobbed out my name.

"It's not just you Dan. It's all me in every way." I spoke clearly despite my current state, and instantly Dan stopped everything. He looked up, and his swollen eyes were all my own could focus on.

"Never do that again." Dan snapped, walking towards me and grabbing my wrist, yanking it forward as he captured me in his arms, tightly and securely holding me. "I thought you had done it." He whispered, his jaw clenching on my shoulder.

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YAYYYY

Te amo,

Mitzu

Xx