Fist & Pearl (Ursula State Series, 1)

Kabanata 18

Kabanata 18
Doubloons

THERE is always this unexpected time in my life when a certain place appears in my dreams.

Whenever I walk through that bermuda grass while counting every fence wood lines that is on my way to somewhere I always go to, whenever I dream of that certain place, I always don't get to my destination. I just walked and walked, but I don't reach the place I want to go to-but I know where I am heading to. It's always like someone will wake me up, and all the events in my dreams will vanish. Just like that. And I will forget it again. I'll just be reminded of the place when I get back there on my dreams.

Sometimes, I wonder if I really know that place, or if it will be a place that I will go to in the future. You see, when you're dreaming and it is not vivid enough, it means that's just a desire. You're dreaming of something you always wanted that you haven't had yet. Because the dream is not vivid enough. You don't know what's the feeling, because you haven't touched it yet in reality-it's just the desire and wanting, that's powering the dream. That's what I have always known.

It's just pure desire, not until you finally get it to your hands, and it will be familiar to you, that's the only time it will unblur in your dreams.

I had another dream in that place, that's why I remember it again.

I was with him, the kid who saved me when I was young. We were walking hand in hand.

Agad kong hinawi ang mga iniisip ko, at saka nagfocus kay Warren na nagsusuot na ng panibagong T-shirt. Duguan na naman siya matapos ang isa na namang Fight Night. Nalinis ko na ang mga panibago niyang sugat dahilan kung bakit nakapagpalit na siya ng damit.

"Warren, why did you choose to live like this?" bigla ay kumawala ang mga salita sa aking bibig at hindi ko na agad iyon nabawi.

Napatigil siya sa pagsusuot ng kaniyang panibagong damit, dahilan upang mastranded ang hem ng damit niya sa lebel ng kaniyang dibdib. Napatigil din ang mga braso niyang nakaangat sa ere na dapat ay hihilahin ang hem ng kaniyang damit pababa sa kaniyang beywang. Nakita ko in full view ang hindi nakakasawang defined, chiseled abdomen niya.

"Trust me, you wouldn't want to know." ayun na lamang ang kaniyang nasabi, tapos ay nagsimula na muling gumalaw ang kaniyang mga braso, at saka na niya hinila ang hem ng kaniyang damit pababa.

"You keep on earning fresh wounds in every fight; you're untouchable before. Why are you taking their punches now?"

Tila gusto ko na lamang lagariin ang aking dila dahil hindi ko ito mapigilan sa pagpili ng mga salitang ilalabas.

Naiintindihan ko na ang dahilan kung bakit laging humahantong sa away sila Mama at Papa. Masyadong matabil ang bunganga ni mama, and I guess, na-inherit ko ang kalahati no'n.

"Okay, I'll show you something." napahinga na lamang ng malalim na sambit ni Warren, tila sumusuko na agad. Gusto kong mapangiti, upang ipakita sa kaniyang naappreciate ko iyon, pero hindi ko ginawa. Nanatili akong kalmado.

I shouldn't be happy because of that simple act of kindness, just because I find it too easy to make him surrender, unlike my mom to my dad.

Sinundan ko si Warren na pumasok papunta sa kaniyang kuwarto. Pagpasok ko ay isinasara na niya ang mga kurtina. Napakunot ako ng aking noo.

"Lock the door, I sometimes get unwanted visitors, and that's the last thing I want now." sambit niya pa at seryosong tumingin sa akin.

Namilog ang aking mga mata bago ko nilingon ang pinto na nasa aking likuran.

What will he do?

"Why?" tanong ko at agad iginala ang tingin sa buong madilim niyang kuwarto. Sa buo kong pagkakaalam simula nang bumangon ako sa kaniyang kama noong unang beses, ay malinis ang kuwartong ito. Wala naman sigurong mga weird stuffs na nandito ngayon diba?