Fist & Pearl (Ursula State Series, 1)

Kabanata 34

Kabanata 34
Mine Alone

IT felt like hours since I got here. It's already dim outside. I bet it's already seven in the evening, and I am missing out the dinner at the Hall. Naaliw yata ako sa pagtingin sa mga halaman sa paligid kanina. Sa mga puno. Binibilang ko lamang ang mga nagdadaang paru-paro. It was like I'm in a different place. It was like it's not here, and it's the first time I got here. Or maybe I was just not paying attention whenever I go here the last times.

My feet already hurt from standing for hours. But I can't knock on the door. Something in me doesn't want to do what I am supposed to do.

I don't think I can face Warren after what happened in the Orphanage. But I made a promise with the girls that I will bring Warren for them tonight.

Especially Reign.

It was her birthday yesterday, and she didn't bother announcing it since the whole house was still hung up about Sierra being a lesbo, and the rape case, even though it's long over to me. Maybe because it was a shock to them dahil matagal na nilang kasama si Sierra, and I suffered for it long time before they learned about it.

That's one amazing thing from pain.

It's not contagious, but it can be only if the other person wanted to feel it-or not really wanted, but unconsciously wanted. They sympathize with me, they feel it. The pain that I felt. But once a person overcome it, even though it came back, it will not hurt you again.

There's never a pain that can hurt a person twice.

Or maybe, that's the rule.

That's the way it should be. But when you were hurt by the same pain the second time around, you're exception to the rule, because you're stupid enough to not learn the lesson behind it.

Or maybe, people just really naturally break rules. It's just that, the reason why every single rule in the world isn't given an appreciation. Because nobody actually do it. Everyone exempts themselves to the rules. That will make much more sense. People can't learn how to let things go. They don't know how to detach.

Napapikit na lamang ako ng aking mga mata at saka bumuntong hininga.

I promised Reign.

It was also because of that everyone in the house forgot her birthday.

I am responsible to make up for that.

The reason why I am standing in the porch of Warren's dorm house. But I just can't make myself knock.

I don't think I can.

"You're looking for Warren?" bigla ay may slurred na boses sa aking likuran. Agad akong lumingon upang tignan kung sino ang taong nagsalita.

"Warren." mahinang sambit ko sa kaniya nang makita ko siyang nakatayo at nakatitig sa akin. Half-closed na ang mga mata niya.

Lasing.

"Charlie!" bigla ay natawang sambit niya tapos ay nagmadaling kumatok sa pinto. "Warren, Charlie's here!" sigaw pa niya habang papalakas ang kaniyang mga katok.

Bigla akong natahimik.

He can't be Wren, right?

He can't be the actual Wren. Right?

I've been told he's long dead.

"Funny, Warren isn't there." tapos ay tumawa si Warren at saka tinuro ang kaniyang sarili, "He's here." tapos ay muli pa niyang pinagtuturo ang kaniyang sarili habang papikit-pikit ang mga mata. Amoy ko rin ang stench ng alcohol sa bibig niya habang nagsasalita siya.