What He Needs

Chapter 32

.:Author's Note:.

Please excuse any mistakes.

***

Winston's POV:

I knew something was wrong the moment I woke up.

The sky was dark and dreary outside my window, and the house was way too quiet for my liking. A sinking feeling settled in my stomach as I quickly threw my blanket off of me and hurried out of my room. I was standing in front of my parents' bedroom door in no time, pausing at the sight of my dad holding on tightly to my mom's hand.

The minute I stopped in the doorway, I knew it. Tears brimmed my eyes as I noticed that there was no peaceful rise and fall of my mother's chest. There was no tired smile or partially opened eyes. My mother's time had come.

"Mommy," I whined as I timidly stepped into the room. Dad must've been startled by my appearance because he quickly turned to face me with red-rimmed eyes. "No, Mommy!"

Conrad and Franny were quick to join us after my cry of pain. My legs felt weak, and I found myself falling to the hardwood floor as my tears finally ran down my face.

"Mommy!" Franny also cried out, hurrying to her other side, while Conrad remained by me, stone cold and quiet. Although we've all been expecting this, no amount of preparation made us ready for the amount of pain and grief that hit us at a tenfold.

I weakly crawled towards my mom's bed and tried to pull myself up so that I could at least look at her up close. She seemed so peaceful just laying there. A dark part of me just wanted to join her. Dying had to be so much better than feeling like this.

I couldn't handle it.

Sobs broke out around the room, including dad's and Conrad's, as I laid my head on Mom's chest. I wanted to feel the faint sense of a heartbeat, but it never came. Instead, all I felt was her soft skin that was slowly losing its warmth.

Dad placed his hand on my head, but I hated to say that his touch wasn't the one I was currently craving.

"She fought for as long as she could," he said softly, causing my tears to fall harder. "She's in a better place now."

And even though I knew that, I still just wanted her to come back to us.

***

I think Conrad was the first to get the ball rolling on the next chain of events.

He had to call 911 so that someone could come and fill out the Pronunciation of Death form before our mother's body was taken from her home. She was going to be refrigerated for a while before her cremation. In the meantime, we had to call family and friends to let them know that mom had passed.

I left Franny to do that. Personally, I didn't want to talk to or see anyone.

My phone had been blowing up with texts and calls from people letting me know how sorry they were for my loss. Fuck them! If they had my number this whole time, why hadn't they called when Mom was sick, but still alive? It was all fake sympathy, and I wanted none of it.

I spent the first couple of days cooped up in my room, ignoring the world around me. At times I'd feel bad for leaving all of the work to Dad, Franny, and Conrad, but every time I stepped out of my safe haven, I couldn't find the strength to pass by Mom's door. Eventually, my siblings or dad would find me just stupidly standing in the hallway before sending me back to my room until I was ready.

I faithfully believed that I would never be ready, but when a week passed by without me even getting up to brush my teeth, Franny thought that enough was enough.