Sparks Fly

Challenge # 05

Sorry

Belle's

I felt so helpless and weak. I didn't know what else to do. I just cried and cried until it was over. I felt restless, but I knew that I had to get up and leave. I did all that. I got up, got dressed. I think Jackson saw me, but he didn't care. He just let me leave and now, I am sitting in the sidewalk, still crying, thinking what I should do...

I am nothing now.

Paano ako uuwi? Paano ako haharap sa Daddy ko? Paano ko pakikitunguhan ang mga kapatid ko? Paano si Mommy? Hindi ko kayang sabihin ang nangyari. Thinking about it makes me so sad. I wanted to die. Hindi dapat nangyari sa akin iyon. I should've fought. I know what I should do, but I didn't because I was too weak. I couldn't even move. I felt so sleepy, but I am very much aware of what is happening to me and what they were doing to my body.

My dad didn't raise me to be weak, but I was too weak.

I sobbed. Paano ako uuwi? I wiped my tears. Nanghihina pa rin ang mga tuhod ko. Nanginginig ang buong katawan ko at malabo pa rin ang isipan ko. Paano baa ko uuwi?

"Belle?" Napatayo ako nang may humawak sa balikat ko. Muntik na akong matumba kasi hilong – hilo ako. Nakilala ko si Ate Blue at si Kuya Narcing. They came out from the convenience store behind me. I looked away. I put my hands inside my pocket. I feel so restless.

"What are you doing here?" Tanong ni Ate Blue sa akin. Pilit niyang hinuhuli ang mga mata ko.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

"Where are you going? Uuwi ka na ba? Narcing and I can take you home?"

I looked down. I don't know what to say. I was biting my lower lip.

"Belle, are you alright? Nanginginig ka." Akmang hahawakan ako ni Kuya Narcing pero tinabig ko ang kamay niya.

"N-no!" My voice shook.

"Belle?"

"Just please, take me home."

"Okay..." Inakbayan ako ni Ate Blue. Hindi ako dapat magpahatid sa bahay kasi magagalit si Daddy kapag nalaman niyang tumakas ako. Ayokong mapagalitan kasi baka hindi ko kayanin, baka bumigay ako. Ayoko...

"Pwede bang sa may park ninyo na lang ako ihatid? I can take it from there." I sobbed.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Tanong ni Ate Blue sa akin. "You don't seem okay. May masakit ba sa'yo?"

I wanted to say that my whole-body ached, but I didn't because questions will follow and I don't like to answer questions.

"Yes. Nahihilo lang ako." I stayed silent. I was crying. Ang hirap – hirap magpigil ng hagulgol. Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong gagawin ko. I feel so incomoplete. I could hear Ate and kuya Narcing talking. Pinag-uusapan nila iying mga anak nila. Nagtatawanan sila, sure naman akong nakakatawa ang sinabi ni Kuya Narcing pero wala ako sa mood para makipag-interact sa kanila.

I keep on remembering what happened to me. I can still feel their touch, their lewd kisses. I could hear them laughing. Tila bas a bawat pagpigil ko sa kanila at pagpatak ng luha ko ay lalo silang natutuwa. I sobbed. Diring – diri ako sa ginagawa nila sa akin. Ginusto kong lumaban pero hindi ako makagalaw.

I even saw Jurie in the room. She kissed Jackson and told him he can do anything to me. I am very aware but I can't do anything.

"Nandito na tayo." I looked outside and saw the park. Nagpasalamat naman ako kay Ate Blue at Kuya Naecing. Naglakad na lang ako papunta sa bahay. Kabang – kaba ako kasi pakiramdam ko ay may sumusunod sa akin. I keep on looking over my shoulder. Natahimik lang ako nang makita ko ang gate ng bahay namin. Dumaan ako sa back door. Madilim na ang kabahayan noon, tahimik pa rin akong lumalakad at umiiyak. Nang marating ko ang tapat ng bintana ko ay nanginginig pa rin ang buong katawan ko kaya medyo hirap akong buksan iyon.