Its Not Living (If Its Not With You)

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Warning: Themes of suicide and methods

1 week later

Hannah had gotten a nights sleep for once. She had her tape recorded, her notes written. All she needed was her tool. She woke up knowing that it would be her last day on earth, and something about it brought her relief but also sadness. There would be no more pain but also no more Bakers And Helmets rehearsals, no more hot chocolate in Monet's, no more seeing Clay and Jessica and having crazy sleepovers with them, no more loving the two of them so much she couldn't choose.

So she decided to give life one last chance. For Jessica, and Clay. So she did something extremely stupid.

Book an appointment with Mr Porter.

When she was dressed, she put the tape and note under her pillow, and went to see her parents before school.

"Hey, sweetie! You look lovely today!", her mother said to her, making her smile.

"Thanks mom. I just needed to pick something up for Jess. Her brother has the flu. Can I just pick it up?", Hannah asked.

"Sure, Hannah, work away."

Her mother returned to the counter, and started arguing with her father. She made sure they weren't looking, and she grabbed a bottle of paracetamol, with 120 pills inside. She put it in her pocket and walked out.

"See you later, mom!", she called as she walked out.

"See you later, sweetie!"

Hannah sighed and went into the car. She took the bottle and looked at the back to see the adult dosage.

2 pills 4 times daily.

That would mean a weeks worth is 56 pills.

She put the pills in her backpack, in the front pocket, so she wouldn't forget it.

"A weeks worth, a weeks worth.", she kept repeating over and over as she drove to school.

She met up with Jessica and Clay, and chatted with them for a minute before they went into class, and Hannah stayed back and put the notes in their lockers. Then, she headed to Mr Porter's office.

She took a deep breath before walking in.

"Here goes nothing.", she muttered to herself.

She walked in and sat down.

"Good morning, Hannah. I was glad to see you wanted to come in to talk to me.", Mr Porter greeted.

"Why?"

"I just was happy to see you come up. So, what's on your mind today?"

"Just, everything, I guess. Its like I don't care anymore."

"You don't care about what?"

"Anything. School, life, my family."

"You don't care about your family?"

"Like, I love them but I'm not who they need me to be. Not even in the slightest."

"And who do they need you to be?"

"Not......a problem."

"And what about your friends?"

"Friends? What friends?"

"C'mon, I always see you attached to Jessica Davis, and Clay Jensen."

"They're not my friends. No, correction, I'm not their friend."