"Love. Its a complicated thing. A beautiful, painful complicated thing. It's even more complicated when you love two people at the one time, and they're your two best friends in the entire world. But sometimes, something in you knows you love one over the other, and as much as it pains you to choose, you know its the right way to go.
Jess, I'm talking about you. And that's why what I let happen to you breaks me more than anything.
First off, we need to talk about the night of the spring dance. I wanted you to for everything you were doing, but I was too scared to show them. My scars. That I inflicted on myself. That's the first thing my cowardice got in the way of. That could've been the best night of our lives, but I was stupid. I'm sorry. I only blame myself. You can only blame me.
The second thing, and the worst thing that happened because of my cowardice was the night of your party. I just wanted to be free for the night, and I wanted you to be free too. Then, after one too many beers, you passed out in my arms. I carried you up to your bed, tucked you in and was about to head out when I heard someone coming. I jumped into your closet and stayed there. Then, he entered. Bryce Walker. I froze. I wanted to cry. Then, he bent over you, and ripped your world apart. And I just watched. And did nothing. Because I was scared, which is the worst excuse on earth. What I did was despicable.
He did the same thing to me, but it doesn't matter. It destroyed me, but I was already destroyed. That's beside the point though, because I let it happen to you. And I can't live with that. I can't live with myself. I say I love you, but how do I when I let that happen? You deserve to be loved by someone who protects you no matter what, no matter if they "freeze" when the one they love is being raped. I really hope you find someone better, because you deserve it.
I love you, Jezebel. As awful as I am, I love and adore you more than anything. I know you can move forward from this, because you're the strongest person I know. Or knew. I don't know. Anyways, I love you."
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Jessica sighed and removed the headphones from her head. She broke down in the closet again, now completely broken beyond any repair.
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Its Not Living (If Its Not With You)
FanfictionWhen Clay Jensen starts working at the Crestmont movie theater, he meets Hannah Baker, a girl his age who had moved into town recently. They immediately share a bond and they spend every second they can together over the summer. Then, the school yea...
