Its Not Living (If Its Not With You)

³5

A few minutes later

There was a knock on Jessica's door. She removed her face from her pillow.

"Fuck off!", she cried.

The door opened to reveal Clay. She sat up.

"Hey.", he said nervously.

"I'm sorry.", Jessica said, "I'm just really fucked up at the moment."

"Same. I already miss her so much. I woke up this morning and everything felt different. But,", he took the tape out of his hoodie pocket, "I listened to this. Both sides. And I know what happened to you two. And there's something on that side that I think you need to listen to. Its what Hannah wanted."

Jessica froze.

"You know about.....Bryce?", she said slowly.

"I do. And the night of the spring dance. She only talks about those two things. I'm so sorry about what happened to you, but what I think doesn't matter. I just wish you guys told me. I will do anything I can to make sure he gets what's coming to him. He's not getting away with this. I promise.", Clay said sincerely, sitting on the bed.

"I can't tell anyone yet. I'm not ready.", Jessica said as she stared at the tape.

"That's OK. I totally get that. Don't rush it. Take all the time you need. In the meantime,", he handed her the tape, "listen to this. Both sides."

Jessica held the tape in her hands.

"I don't know if I can do this.", she said.

"I did as well, but once you're done, you feel better.", Clay said, getting up and walking towards the door.

"And Jess," Jessica looked up at him, "stay strong. I know it's a cliché thing to say but whatever."

Jessica smiled at him as he walked out the bedroom door. She then looked at the tape in her hands. She got up from her bed and went into her closet to find her Walkman. She then realised that Hannah sat there that night. She wished she had never seen that.

She decided to listen to the tape in the closet. She opened the door of the player, popped in the tape, put on the headphones, took a deep breath and pressed play.

Hannah's voice sounded nervous, shaky, broken, dark. And it broke Jessica's heart.

"Hello. Its me. Hannah Baker. Pianist, Matty Healy enthusiast, lover of a particular cute girl. I treated her like shit, and this goes out to her, because reasons? I love her."-

Jessica paused the tape.

"Why does she blame herself?", she said with disbelief.

She pressed play again.

"So, this song is called O (Fly On) by Coldplay. I originally had a song of my own written, but I hated it so you can't go wrong with a cover."