My Name Is Vincent Ryan Keller

Chapter Eleven

Good and bad things happened today.

Good because I helped a kid badly beaten on a dumpster. I tried to do CPR but he needed medical assistance ASAP so I took him to the ER. He was in a coma but I heard he was okay and better.

Bad because…

I never expected that Catherine and I would be on… where we were now. I could say that I was contented in checking on her without knowing that I did or that I exist. But I did not want to be a hypocrite. A part of me was more than happy to not just see her from afar but also to have a conversation with her, to ask 'Hi. How are you?' or even have an argument with her.

Bad because…

I feared for my life and for JT's and I hate myself for putting Catherine on the same boat. No matter how I took all the precautions to make sure she was safe, how I tried my best to protect her, I still failed. Catherine was now on Muirfield's target list. How did they know about her connections with me? Oh. The subway incident. I asked because she was taken by them and questioned her about me. Brainwashed her about who I was and what worst I could do. I was really scared on what they had done to her. Catherine had not mentioned the details. They let her go. But still, I had to do something to prevent this from happening again. I did not want to leave her at that moment but she thought it would be the best.

I did left but I settled at my favorite spot across her apartment. I could hear her heart beat so fast. I knew she was not okay and scared, too. She was restless walking to and fro her room. She would sat down for a while and checked her phone from time to time. Forgive me for putting you through this. I have protected you for 9 years. I won't let Muirfield intervene to that. She made sure the window pane was closed and locked. Lights out. I needed to do something.

JT might be right. It was not typical for Muirfield to keep Catherine alive when she knew my existence. They could have killed her in cold blood. But Catherine also had a point. If they track her, they could find me. Something was wrong.

My instincts had always been right. There was something wrong indeed. Catherine was not scared of Muirfield. She was afraid of me. This was what I was talking about. She thought I belong in a cage.

I was willing to give up my life if it only means she would be safe again. I needed to disappear. I needed an undo button. This would never be a right decision but nonetheless I had to leave a proof that I existed. Three test tubes of my blood would be enough.

I inhaled deeply the cool night breeze as I gathered my thoughts on the rooftop. I could not do this anymore. I needed a plan. If ever they touch her again… I clenched my hand. I could not imagine it. Take my life, too.

Her window was locked. I could not get in. I tried Heather's window. Good chance. Heather was not home. I used her window to get in. I slowly opened Catherine's door. She was sound asleep. She must have been tired of work and me. She was lying on her side facing the window. Oh… her scent. I found the card Muirfield gave her on the night stand. I put it in my jacket as I watched her sleep. She was so beautiful even when sleeping. Then I thought of my purpose why I was here, why I took the card.

I had Catherine for 9 years. Even just in shadows, I took care of her in my own way. This friendship that we had… I could not ask for more. It made me feel that I was normal again. There would always be but's though. Was this what life could offer me? I wanted to protect Catherine as long as I could. So, I had to do this.