My Name Is Vincent Ryan Keller

Chapter Thirty-Four

Catherine

Seriously, I did not have any plans to celebrate this so-called Hearts Day but a good friend of mine needed someone to lean on.

I was not ignoring his gifts and efforts. I just wanted to be alone with Tess who had always been there for me. We had some fun and drinks and shared the bitterness of Valentine's Day. Our boss Joe and Evan joined us and I was hoping to have a good time and to forget this personal dilemma I was into even just for one night. But then…

What if I would not care where he was or what danger he was into? Tsk. But then I could not. Damn. I just wanted to get this over and done with. Done with this Vincent and Alex thing.

JT called and they were both in danger. And there I was again, to the rescue.

At least it was finally over although things before that did not go smoothly.

Alex injected Vincent with something I had no idea that made him so weak. I even had to mention my mother and her participation on what they did to Vincent.

I would assume Alex got her head back. She might have understood this time because... Alex let go of Vincent.

It was actually a good ending for Alex and me. It was awkward but good. I was not sure how she did it. I mean, it was never easy to say goodbye to a person whom you spend with almost half your life.

Vincent was her first love. I could not change that.

When Alex knew about him being alive, it was a chance for them to start a new life or continue what they had before even if in hiding. However, with his condition and her being a nurse, she tried to find a cure without understanding the real situation of Vincent. So, for me even if it hurts, Alex just fought for the man that she loved. I am sure any woman would. And giving up Vincent with the conviction that she was no longer the one he loves… that was the hardest thing anyone could do.

And Vincent Keller… Well, he thought he could have that "new life" and he did not just thought of it. He yearned for that "new life" for so long and Vincent, in some way, he was given that opportunity to have that fresh start. Not with me though but with Alex. Remember he told me that Alex was willing to give up her life to be with him even if in hiding? Hmm. That awful memory.

If he would ask me the question again, if I was willing to give up everything I had to be with him, would I have an answer this time? No, I guessed. I was not sure what to think anymore. I must be very tired.

Tired that I was, I had to do two more tasks.

Somehow, everything had fallen into place.

I dropped by the warehouse to give Alex the stuff she needed away from Muirfield's radar. IDs, passport, bus tickets and cash. I also made sure her safety by going with her to the bus station.

And… I knew it was wrong and it was not the first time I had done it but I had to cover up what happened tonight. That was why I had to say no to see Vincent.

And voila! Another awful thing added to my already rough day. Tess saw me ripped those evidences. I wanted to explain but it was not the right time to tell her the truth. Not now. Oh no. What had I done to our friendship?

I was almost there. I was ready to break down into pieces. After the whole Alex/Vincent thing and now I betrayed my partner, my best friend. But, no. I had to stay strong for myself. Yes, for me, myself and I.

I should rest.

Well, I guessed I could say it was now over, right? The love triangle, if that was how you would want to call it. No more Alex. No more Vincent. Yep, you heard me.

It would be inconvenient right now to jump into our so-called relationship just because Alex was out of the picture. I knew I made things hard for Vincent and he deserved that.

Maybe if I could have a little bit of peace and serenity?

Just like I said earlier, I would like some peace and quiet and now this?

I was not sure if I would be glad or irritated to see Vincent in my apartment. Maybe, both. Maybe I was irritated because I wanted to be alone and be at peace. On the other hand, I might be glad because Vincent made me laugh as I saw him hanging by the window in the living room. I thought I made myself clear that I did not want to talk since I shut down all the possible ways he could get in. The living room was the last one but I guessed he made it in time before I closed the window. Well, almost since he was hanging five floors above the ground.

I did not know what to do or say with him around so I just moved away to the kitchen and got some water to distract myself.

I wanted to give "US" a chance. I really did.

It was just that… I could not be so sure. I wanted to be by myself for the meantime? I needed to focus with myself and work and not with the things that stresses me out. I mean, work was already stressful, not that I was complaining. I wanted to start the day with my favorite coffee, do my job, a good dinner with my sister and a wonderful sleep. Could I have that?

And there he was… standing in front of me… asking "US" a chance.

"No." I said with my head down.

"What?"

"I cannot do this anymore." I still could not look at Vincent.

"I don't believe you. Look at me, Catherine."

I hesitated.

"Please. Look at me."

I heard sadness in his voice but I had to do this. I had to save myself from all of this.

I looked at him straight in the eyes.

"I'm sorry."

That was the last thing I heard from myself.