South Park Oneshots

Yandere (Twenny)

Let's just pretend I never said I was done with this book lmao

Requested by gucci-strawberriess

-//-//-//-//-//-//-//-//-//-//-//

Kenny's POV

I have the biggest crush on someone. And that person is Tweek. I love the way his hair is always messy and his shirt's buttons are never buttoned up right, how he sometimes twitches and make some cute sounds and even his coffee addiction is adorable to me.

Unfortunately, he is already taken. He is dating Craig, that asshole. I don't know if they're actually dating, because they were kind of forced to date. I wish those Asian girls drew yaoi fanarts of me and Tweek, so we'd be forced to stay together.

Anyway, even though I know he probably wouldn't want to date me (because we're like, best friends), I want to make him mine, and I won't stop until I achieve what I want.

I've been stalking him, and I know what he does every single day, every hour. I know everything about him, that's a good reason why he should stay with me. But unfortunately, he won't be mine as long as Craig's still there, so I need to get rid of him. I just have to find the right opportunity to do that.

I'm lost in my thoughts so I don't notice when I bump into someone. I don't know if that's "destiny"or something, but it's Tweek. He mumbles a "gah" before realizing it's me.

"Oh, H-Hi Kenny!" He smiles. God, how I love that cute little smile of his.

"Hey Tweek! Are you free today? Maybe we could.."

And then, Craig appears from behind him. He wraps his arms around Tweek's waist and I feel myself becoming furious. I just hate Craig so fucking much. I mean, I don't really hate him, I just hate the fact that he does that kind of stuff to my Tweek.

"Hey babe." Craig kisses his "boyfriend's" cheek. Now I can see that they're probably dating, but maybe this can be just a little play to make their fake relationship look even more convincing.

Tweek seems to blush, and I try hard to not bring it up. If they aren't in a relationship, he must like Craig. Fuck...

"Can I talk to you for a moment, Tweek?" Now Craig's dragging him to a place that's not that far from me, so I silently follow them, and hide behind a wall to hear what they're saying.

"I told you to be careful around Kenny! I'm sure he likes you, so don't lower your guard so much!" Craig says with a worried tone. I don't know how, but he saw right through me, and now he knows about these confused feelings of mine.

"G-Gaah! Stop it C-Craig! Kenny is m-my friend, and you c-can't just say that I'm supposed to be c-careful around h-him!! You guys have a l-lot in common, so why don't you try to be friends with him?" Tweek says, and this makes me happy. At least he didn't believe Craig and he's defending me. That could be a sign... maybe?

"Fine... but just because you're the one asking." Craig crosses his arms.

Tweek smiles, and they start to walk back to where we were, hand by hand. I quickly go back to where we were talking, and they don't seem to notice I was hearing them.

"So, Craig, I was about to ask Tweek if the three of us could hang out at my place later. What do you think?" I try to look as happy as possible.

"Oh! I-I'm sorry, but I h-have to help my p-parents at the café today so why don't you two go and have fun together?"

Craig grins, but then nods in agreement. That's the perfect opportunity for me to deal with him.

Later...

I hear a knock on the door. I open it and there he is: Craig alone. All by himself.

"Hey dude" he says with his usual indifferent tone.

"Hey Craig" is the only thing I'm able to answer. I just want to knock him down already...

"Are you... just going to stare at me like that?" He asks.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Why don't you come in?" I smile.

I step aside so he can enter my house. As soon as he has his back turned to me, I grab the closest thing to me and hit his head really hard. He faints quickly.

-----

"Wha- where am I?!!" He yells.

"Relax, I won't do anything bad to you. Let's just talk." I say calmly.

"Wait... Kenny, is that you?!" He yells louder.

Shit. He probably remembers coming to my place...

"Dude, what the fuck?!! Let me go!!!" He yells, and I can notice the anger on his voice.

"I won't let you go, yet. Maybe I can think about it if you promise that you won't tell anyone what happened and if you answer me everything I ask you. Deal?" I walk off the dark corner I was hidden in. Now he can see me completely.

He thinks a little before answering. I think he's still confused about this. I'd also be if it were me in that situation.

"Ugh, Fine! Deal."

"Alright. Now let's start the questions. What's exactly your relationship with Tweek?"

"Why the fuck are you asking that?! What does it have to do with this situation?!"

"Just answer the question. Let me remind you that if you don't answer everything I ask, I won't let you go."

"Do I really have to tell you?" Craig asked as he looked down a little. I know he doesn't want to admit, but I'm sure he and Tweek are dating.

"It's part of our deal."

"Fine... we're kind of.. going out..."

"Well, that explains a lot, you know? Like the reason you were telling him to keep away from me."

"I've never said this!"

"I think you know perfectly fine, Craig. Weren't you telling Tweek today that he shouldn't be with me because I secretly loved him? You were right, I do love him, but there's... a little problem."

"Problem...? What kind of problem?"

"Well, allow me to be honest. That problem is you."

"Wha-" and before he could finish his sentence, I hush him. I go behind the chair he is tied in and...

BAM!

Only one baseball bat hit was enough. There he is: head bleeding uncontrollably, making everything get dirty with blood. I feel kind of happy watching this.

After two minutes of intense staring at his probably dead body, I realize I have to get rid of it. I look around and all I can see that is enough to hide him is an old blanket. I used as a way to keep people from finding out I was dragging a dead body around.

I dump him in the closest forest I could find. Then, I simply walk home, whistling a happy song as a way to celebrate my success.

One week later...

I arrive school and Tweek is standing near a random bench. I can see he's been crying, probably because of Craig.

"Hey Tweek..." I try to seem as sweet as possible "I'm sorry about Craig... I know how you must be feeling right now..."

Tweek looks at me with teary eyes. I hug him tightly, caressing his blond and soft hair.

"I know he's fine Tweek. Don't worry, he'll show up soon"

"I-I hope y-you're right..." he snuggles to me and his scent feels stronger and nicer than usual.

That's it. Craig's gone and now he'll be mine, forever. No matter who come to try to take me away from him, I can simply do the same I did to Craig.

Tweek now is mine, and it'll be just the two of us. Forever.

-//-//-//-//-//-//-//-//-//-//-//

Some more shitty fanfic for y'all yay :'D