Jellybean Jones -return to Riverdale

26.Home,Sweet Home

The next two days spent in the hospital were overly boring.
My dad and brother barely left my side,I was frequently visited by different people.
The serpents and my brothers friends mostly.Betty,Archie and Veronica came at every opportunity they had,bringing me my favourites from Pops each time.
Slowly but surely I was regaining my strength.I was struggling to sleep though,I kept waking up with horrible nightmares,I dream that I'm back in that cramped hotel room listening to Penny and her Ghoulies goons threaten me as they carve things deep into my skin leaving me with excruciating pain surging through my body.Jug and dad keep having to wake me up and coax me back into slumber.Will it always be like this?
Mae and Jamie have left me millions of texts,I reply with short answers like "I'm fine,be back in school soon"that's all I have enough energy for.
The nurse said I will have a lot of scars,scars that will never heal.Tattoos in a way,tattoos that will haunt me and remind me of the childhood I never had.I'm still just a kid after-all,I should be off somewhere with my friends making pointless videos and quoting vines,laughing until I can't breathe.I shouldn't be confined to a hospital bed regretting life,with a dead mother who never cared for me yet died to protect me.
**Time skip**
It felt as though I had spent months in that horrible hospital room but in reality it was only a few days.Leaving had never felt better.
Dad insisted on carrying me out to the truck,I still wasn't feeling 100%.
It felt good to sleep in my own bed,surrounded by cushions and fluffy blankets.I much preferred the old musty smell of our trailer-my home,in comparison to the anti-bacterial smell of the hospital.I had never felt more at home in this trailer than I did now.It was a real home with my dad,brother and often brothers girlfriend.
Betty was staying the night with Jughead,"make sure your safe"I laughed watching both of them blush deeply."Shut up Jell-Bell"Jughead hissed nudging me lightly as he tucked me in and handed me a small silver bell "ring this if you need anything"he added.I laughed,I could get used to this princess treatment.
When I was finally free from their overprotective eyes I rolled over and pulled a hand-held mirror from my bedside drawer.I was unrecognisable.I would never get used to this new look but I didn't have any choice.I hated it.
On my forehead,just above my right brow is one scar,Penny had simply poked the knife deep enough to form a dent.I had a big black eye from the two Ghoulies goonies-I liked the nickname I had come up with for them.
My lip was bust and I had various other cuts and grazes around my face.I had a small yet thankfully unnoticeable bump on my head,hidden beneath my hair.I looked like the kinda person you pretend your not staring at on the streets,I look like the kinda person little kids point and run from.I look like a monster and I hate that.
The worst scar of all is my stomach,I will never be able to wear anything cropped,thanks  to Penny.
I am no longer invisible,I can no longer fade into the background and go about my life unnoticed,the only thing I had left in life was stolen by Penny.
Now everywhere I go,everywhere I look,people will point and stare.My dad,brother and brothers friends pretend it's unnoticeable,they think I don't see their flickering eyes widening as the scar fades into permanent features.
I'm so vulnerable like this and I hate it.
Moms funeral is in three days,dad and jug keep trying to get me to express emotion but there's nothing to express,she wasn't a real mother to me,she never was.
I will go and pay my respects,I will say goodbye and that is the last I will ever think of her.It's my fault she's dead.She tried to rescue me.
It's also her own fault,she didn't really care about me I don't believe,she just had to look good in front of my dad and brother and Riverdale.Yet I still can't help but blame myself.
What I'm really not ready for is facing Dave.Of course he'll be at the funeral.He loved mom.What will he say to me? Will he even talk to me?
I drift off to sleep wondering.