Jellybean Jones -return to Riverdale

27.Goodbyes are forever

WARNING-this chapter is about the funeral,if you are uncomfortable with this topic then please just skip ahead :)
~Jughead's POV~
Today was going to be tough,I knew that.
In fact the past two weeks have been near impossible with Jellybean in her weak condition and dad was busy making funeral arrangements for mom.
I still can't believe she's really gone,I mean she's basically been dead to me for years but it must be hard for Jellybean.She hasn't even shed a single tear yet,I'm worried.
She seems to be numb,emotionless.I understand that moms never been the most caring,heck she didn't even bother to let dad and I know when jellybean was moving back with us.
But surely Jellybean should be a little upset? She was still our mother and she did raise Jelly.
The whole of Riverdale were coming to the funeral.Betty has been staying with us for the last few days keeping me comfort and helping to take care of JB.
Archie and his dad,Fred have also been great,helping our family in whatever way they could.
~Jellybean's POV~
I was gently woken by Betty,she had stayed the last few days to help out.I hated how sympathetic everyone was feeling towards me,I didn't need pity,she wasn't my mom,well she was but she didn't act like it.I didn't care that I would never see her again,it didn't affect me.I felt a sense of relief,freedom.
I know that sounds horrible,I am horrible but I can't change how I feel.
I dressed in a black dress,leather jacket and straightened my hair tying the sides in a loose braid.I looked in the mirror,my outfit was quite cute,I wish I could say the same about my face.My eye was still bruised a light shade of purple,the gash above my eyebrow fading into a pale red.Various other scratches saround my face still visible.
Great.
Not only did I seem like an emotionless monster for not mourning the loss of my mother but I also looked like a monster with my discoloured injuries.Today was the first time Riverdale was gonna see me,the new me,the ugly me,
The monster-like,abused version of me.
***
The minutes seemed more like hours.I sat on the hard wooden bench wedged between Dad and Jughead.Betty sat close to Jug on his other side comfortingly rubbing his hand with her thumb.I rested my head on dads shoulder as he let a few stray tears escape.Dad had told me us last night that we didn't have to act strong or tough,it's okay to cry and show emotion.
They want me to show emotion.Dad and Jug want me to scream and cry and shout myself hoarse,that's healthy,that's all apart of mourning but I didn't need to grieve.I didn't feel sad I only felt empty.
I had to sit there and whisper "thank you"to person after person.They pass by one-by-one,slowly shaking my hand with sympathetic smiles.They whisper things like "I'm sorry for your loss dear" or "she's in a better place,love" I want to roll my eyes but I can't be rude.Finally Mae and Jamie approach me,they shake dads hand and stop in front of me.
Mae threw herself at me,a single tear escaping her eye."Oh Jellybean,I'm so sorry,we had no idea"she whispers quietly before stepping back.Jamie steps forward,it was her turn to give me a hug."If you need anything just know we're here for you Jell"she smiles weakly pulling away.The girls shake my brothers hand and glance back at me before carrying on and walking away.It was nice of them to come.I wasn't expecting it.
"Who were they?"Jughead mouths.I smirk slightly nudging him and whispering "my friends,I'm not a total loner Jug."
The service seemed to have lasted forever.I stood by the open grave at the cemetery.Dad and Jug were carrying the coffin in with Fred,Archie and some serpents.
Betty wiped a tear from her eye and Veronica put a hand on my shoulder.I shook it off,I knew I shouldn't be rude,she was only being nice but I didn't deserve pity,not when I wasn't at all upset.I joined in on a hymn and planted a kiss on moms shiny new headstone which read,
Here lies Gladys Jones,
Went to heaven October 6th 2019
It was the most I could do,I realised my dad and brother wouldn't leave me alone until I grieved,I was gonna have to pretend.
After the cemetery we simply went to Pops as a family.I didn't feel hungry,I haven't had a proper meal since the kidnapping.I don't know why.
I played around with the straw in my milkshake,swirling it around and around.
Dad,Jug,Betty,Veronica,Archie and his dad Fred joined us for dinner.They all prompted me to eat more but I just shrugged it off and mumbled "not hungry".
Dad ended up bringing my meal home.Betty was staying the night once again.I was exhausted,I went straight to sleep and for the first time since yet again,my kidnapping,I slept soundly.No nightmares.
I was grateful the day was over.
AUTHORS NOTE
Thank y'all so much for 1k reads you have no idea how much it means to me!! I love you guys <3