I'm Not A Girl, I Swear [Discontinued]

X

Nick took advantage of Saturday morning to get a feel for the town Dalton was in. After an internal debate, he settled on the conclusion that wearing the shirt was a bad idea and he was going to do it.

He walked out of Dalton's front doors unnoticed, heading to the left. There was nothing immediately next to Dalton, and what looked like a forest behind it.

The first shop he passed was a Starbucks- of course. Starbucks was everywhere. He'd forever be loyal to Teaful, though; if it went out of business, his hiding spot would be gone.

The next was a bank, and a few more boring businesses.

In between a tattoo parlor and a bakery, there was a small thrift shop. It was open, so he decided to check it out.

There was only one person in it, a cashier looking rather bored. She seemed to brighten when she saw him. "Hi! Can I help you find anything today?"

"Thanks, but I'm just browsing."

"Alright. Tell me if you need anything."

He nodded, not quite sure how to respond. One thing he liked about thrift shops is that it wasn't separate by guy/girl, it was just clothes. As it should be.

He looked around for a while, seeing a couple of shirts that he liked. There was this one clear blue color that he had never seen on men's clothes before, only women's. Something of a bright aqua.

He nearly laughed buying the clothes. Whenever he kept up the 'I'm super manly' charade, his mother was more inclined to give him allowance and such. One day he'd get into a fight, the next she'd say she dropped off fifty bucks in his credit card account. She wasn't stingy with money; his family had plenty, after all. Now he was buying girl's clothes with money he had earned from being a guy.

'Probably enough that I could get surgery to become a girl if I wanted,' he mused.

He kept checking out the shops, seeing a couple of interesting places. There was one clothing store with a scarf in the window that caught his eye.

His phone buzzed, surprising him. He never got texts.

There were a bunch of unknown numbers at the top, and he frowned, confused.

UN Okay guys I
know some of you
didn't want to watch
to the bone but I
just did and I HIGHLY
recommend it

UN Can you stop
talking about that
movie already

UN Or just kick
Sebastian out of
the group chat...
I still want to watch
it in spite of him

UN I'll repeat
myself: Petty.

Nick laughed, realizing who it was. He put the numbers in his contacts as he recognized who was sending them.

UN Who's the
unknown number?

JS That's Nick

UN ...how do you
have his number?

Yeah, I'm asking
the same thing

JS I have my ways

That's not at all
creepy

JS Nick would
you watch it??

What's 'it?'

SS This movie Jeff
found about anorexia...
because the media
has to shove absolutely
everything in our faces

UN And Sebastian
has to shove his
opinion in our faces
too

UN You know maybe
it'd be good for you
to watch it

SS God fucking damnit,
Blaine, I don't want to
look at that for two hours

BA What, you think
it shouldn't be represented
on the media?

SS I think it's perfectly
fine to have it represented
in the media BUT YOU
ARE SHOVING IT IN
MY FUCKING FACE
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

JS God, break it up, guys

I kinda feel like an
idiot for saying this
but what's anorexia?

About five people started typing at once, and all the texts sent at once.

BA Eating disorder
where you exercise a
bunch and don't eat
much

UN It's when someone
doesn't eat and exercises
a lot to get unhealthily
skinny

SS Absolute hell,
everything's just a
calorie waiting to happen
and you can't step in a car
to go anywhere without
immediately feeling guilty
because you look at
yourself and all you see
is this mess, they say you're
skinny but you can't see it
you just see a disgusting
excuse for a human being

JS It's an eating disorder

UN It's an eating disorder
characterized by excessive
exercise and not eating
much; most people are
painfully aware of the
calories they're eating and
count them carefully
(Hunter by the way)

Nick paused, confused.

JS ...Sebastian do you
want to talk?

SS No.

BA God I'm sorry I feel like an asshole now

SS You should.

So... If you don't think
you're skinny and eat
small meals or skip
them and exercise a lot,
it'd be anorexia?

JS Pretty much

SS Don't forget the
self-hate

JS Where are you,
anyway? I didn't think
you were heading home
for the weekend

Just getting a feel for
the town around Dalton.

Nick felt like he might be sick. He had practiced climbing buildings and running constantly for when he needed to escape. He didn't eat much because he needed to be skinny and fast on his feet. It helped scaling buildings when there wasn't much weight to lift.

That... was that anorexia? He definitely hated himself, but for a lot of reasons.

How do you
get rid of it?

SS Time and suffering

JS Professional help
or unprofessional help,
depends on how bad it is

HC I don't think it ever quite goes away for good

SS ^ that too