I'm Not A Girl, I Swear [Discontinued]

XLIV

"Nick, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you off-" Jeff frantically apologized as soon as Nick returned.

Nick cut him off. "Jeff, it's fine. I was just nervous. Still am."

He sat next to Jeff on the couch, glad the commons were empty. They were both quiet for a minute, Nick preparing himself to talk.

"I... I was trying to tell you something. I don't know, it's just..." He sighed. "I haven't figured it all out, but I needed to be honest with you. I- I've been struggling with my... identity, I guess, for a while now. I've been talking to Thad about it, and he- we- think that it's not that I feel like a girl, but that I don't feel like a guy. He's suggesting nonbinary, but I don't know, it's just a lot all at once. And it- it might take a while for me to figure it out, so, I'm telling you now."

He couldn't look Jeff in the eyes, crying softly. "Oh, Nick," Jeff said gently, pulling him into a hug. Nick cried into his shoulder. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I love you too," Nick said quietly, wiping his eyes.

"And nothing's going to change that. I'm here if you need anything, alright? I- I don't know as much as Thad, but I'm here."

He nodded. "Okay," he whispered. "But there's... I was hiding in my dorm, and Sebastian guessed it, but he made a good point. I- I don't know if I'm going to keep going to Dalton."

"We'll deal with that later, okay?" Jeff said. "And in case it helps you at all, there are plenty of nonbinary and just in general not-male students here. There's been a couple of girls over the years, too."

Nick chuckled. "Really?"

"Yeah. It's kinda funny, because some people complain about the sexual tension, but we're, like, all gay."

Jeff smiled as Nick laughed, glad he could cheer him up.