I'm Not A Girl, I Swear [Discontinued]

XLII

"Nick, are you okay? You've been kinda... off ever since you came back from the weekend," Jeff asked him, worry clear in his tone.

Nick bit his lip, thinking. "I'm fine. It's just... I don't know, there was the trial and everything, and I'm just worn out by it all."

Jeff nodded understandingly, even though Nick knew he didn't understand, not really. "That must have been really hard. I can't imagine that."

"I still can't believe Wes did what he did," Nick said. "It was really brave of him to go against his parents like that."

Jeff nodded again. "Yeah, especially with how strict his parents are. He's okay, right?"

"He said he was. Something seems off, though." The conversation was just filler to Nick. He needed to talk to Jeff, but he was so afraid of his reaction.

"He'd tell us, or at least David, if it was serious," Jeff said. "Hopefully it's nothing."

"Jeff," Nick said abruptly, "did you know Thad before he came out?"

He looked confused by the sudden topic change, but the words were already out there. Nick couldn't take them back.

"Um, as trans or asexual?" Jeff asked.

"As a guy- like, yeah, transgender." Nick stumbled over the word. It hit too close to what he was desperately avoiding yet needed to talk to Jeff about.

"Yeah, I did. We went to the same middle school. I also knew him before..." he hesitated, both of them knowing the ending. Before he tried to kill himself.

"Did it change your opinion of him at all? Like, what was your reaction?"

Jeff looked at him inquisitively. "The only thing that changed were his name and pronouns. He was still Thad, whether that was his name or not. He was the same person."

Nick remembered the catch, looking down. "But you're gay. Like, totally, completely gay."

"I wouldn't say completely," Jeff said. Nick looked back up at him, heart skipping a beat. Did he have a chance? Had he misheard?

Then his hope was quickly replaced by dread as Jeff spoke again.

"Nick, are you trying to tell me something?"