Today's lesson: CNN is for SOY BOIS
Narrator: A NEW YEAR HAS BEGUN!!!! AND NOW GORDON FREEMAN HAS FINALLY WENT HOME FROM SAVING CHRISTMAS FROM BAD GUYS OR SOMETHING...(something tells me that's going to be an annual thing). NOW GORDON IS AT BLACK MESA AGAIN SINCE IT HAS OFFICIALLY REOPENED AND GORDON IS DOING SOME KIND OF EXPERIMENT....
Gordon: OK.... why am i doing this again.... OH yeah. To prove a point to those ZOMBIE Scientist that you CAN live on junk food 247! YES i am AWARE this is NOT my expertise since I'm a physicist BUT ITS FUCKING JUNK FOOD! I LIVE ON THAT SHIT!!!!
Scientist: so how are you gonna prove that you can live on junk food gordon?
Gordon: i'm glad you asked!
Scientist: I actually Don't care.
Gordon: well i don't care if you don't care. I'm going to just say it anyway.
Scientist: (Sigh)
Gordon:I grabbed this guy right here who is the biggest fat ass i know!!!
Eric cartman: AYE! I AINT FAT IM JUST BIG BONED!!!!
Gordon: he's a little shit so that why im gonna test this syringe of questionable origin on him and not me!
Eric cartman: WHAT?
Gordon: SO... this syringe carries a Supposed serum that can make you Immune to junk food or make you die? It can go either way really...
Eric cartman: NO MAN NOT KEWL!!!! NOT KEWL!!!! ONLY KEENY CAN DIE!!!!
(gordon stabs the syringe into eric cartman and he swells up and pops killing him and out comes out Osmosis jones and Drix...) OOF
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