D's
So, this is how it feels like, to be in complete mess of thoughts and feelings, of you and for you. I never wanted to be in this situation, to be in this uncertainty, to be in the middle.
I vowed to myself that I will guard my heart from all the people who'll try to get in and try to know me, I don't wanna feed their curiosity, I don't want to let them see who I am behind the Dennise they know.
But then, one day, all your rules for yourself will be broken just because of a person. Hassle. When you don't want to feel anything but you just can't help it, it will consume your overall being, and you will just find yourself overwhelmed with all the feelings. Hassle. It's always hassle to feel everything.
I don't want to feel everything.
I'm scared to feel everything.
Yet, you, you made me feel everything and I...hopelessly liked the feeling.
"Hellooooo, Den?"
"Yeah?" I asked, I'm sorry Ly, I got lost with you again.
"Are you listening? I asked you what do you want to eat for lunch? Dito lang ba tayo sa bahay?"
"Sorry, I'm hungry na kasi," I answered, I lied. Reminder to myself, wag kang titigan while you're talking or else I'll just appreciate your beauty instead of listening.
You made a face and looked at me with that teasing expression, "wag mo kasi akong titigan."
"Kapal," I answered to defend myself, I hate it how you know me so well.
"Asus, I know you," you said.
"Assumera ka rin minsan, Ly."
"Defensive mo kaya," you said and you laughed. Imbes na sumimangot ako because of you teasing me, I smiled, nakakahawa ba yung mga ngiti mo, o talagang marupok lang ako pagdating sayo? I sighed, the answer is both.
I just snorted, you laughed again. Please, don't get me used to it, hahanap-hanapin ko yan araw-araw, sige ka.
"How about pizza na lang? Delivery?" I asked. Your face light up, oh, a pizza lover.
"Sure! Ako na lang tatawag sa store, any add ons?"
"Mojos, please," I answered.
"Favorite mo?"
"Yes, kaya dalawang set, please."
"Ang takaw mo!"
"Excuse me, pinakialaman ba kita when you literally ate that 1 liter tub of ice cream?" I asked her.
"Sige na, hindi na ko magsasalita," you answered with that stupid smile on your face.
I hate it, bakit ang saya-saya ko pag nakikita kitang nakangiti dahil sa'kin?
I watch you talk on the phone, you're just smiling, I like your dimples on your cheeks, Ly, that makes you unique, and you look like a cat. I love the way you run your fingers on your hair and the way your hand move as if you're explaining to someone in front of you.
I love your voice, it's soft and calming, with that height and your aura, who would have thought that your voice will be that tiny? It's funny. How I never thought of liking you back then.
But here I am, liking every bit of you.
"Nakatitig ka na naman sa'kin," you said after you ended the call.
"Jinajudge talaga kita," I answered, tumawa ka na naman, lahat ba ng sinasabi ko nakakatawa para sayo? Seryosohin mo naman ako. Teka, iba na ata yan.
