That night, under the starless sky and heavy clouds, you broke your heart open and spilled every feeling that you’ve been hiding. You confessed that you love me.
Little did you know, the first time I laid my eyes on you, you already got me.
You’re a sweet girl, lahat kaming friends mo swerte to have a friend like you, pero I can say na I am luckier cause we’re bestfriends. Damn, ilang beses ko bang kinailangan na sabihan ang sarili ko na I should not fall for you, you are my bestfriend, but everytime pinipigilan ko, the opposite happens, everyday, you made me fall for you even more. I was so afraid, I was so afraid to feel everything samantalang ikaw, you feel nothing towards me. Alam mo how big my trust issues are, alam mo how fragile as a person I am, and you very well know how I guard myself from other people to prevent them from hurting me, you even said to me you will protect me, but I didn’t expect you will be the reason kung bakit ako nasasaktan sa mga sinabi kong dahilan. The irony, right?
So I made a decision of moving on from my feelings from you. I want to run away from feeling everything. I want to run away from getting hurt, I want to run away from you.
But who said running away from the one you love is easy? Chito was right when he said I take one step away then I find myself coming back to you, you’re hard to run away from.
I needed to make a way, I needed to get over you, I tried. But even Marci can’t help me.
Even Ged.
And then, that unexpected night came. When you told me you love me, trust me, that moment, I wanted to hug you and ask you why it took you so long, I wanted to tell you that I love you, too.
I hate my fears; I hate them so much, because that night, I let them speak for me. I told you I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not taking the risk. I’m sorry for being so afraid.
And that night, when the rain is pouring hard, just like what I always do and what I’m good at, I ran away from you. I ran away from risking everything, I ran away from letting myself be truly happy. I ran away from the one I really love.
I miss you, Bea.
