Bex

Bonus #2

  I gnawed on my bottom lip, hard. Hospitals, after all this time, still gave me anxiety; they caused my stomach to turn into a pile of knots so tight it took several hours to untangle them. And I was especially anxious waiting for my ob-gyn to return with my test results.

I frowned at the posters of babies and their smiling mothers with their eyes so full of love and wonder. I hated them fiercely, even though I knew I shouldn't; they were only happy, and why should you hate someone for being happy? But I still did- I couldn't help it. It just wasn't fair. Then again, fair never really had played a big part in my life. But I'm luckier than most, I suppose.

A few years after me and Axel got married, we decided to start trying to have a baby. But thanks to the chemo I went through as a teenager, it permanently damaged the majority of my eggs. But every professional I went to said there was a possibility I could have a baby- a vey tiny, almost nonexistent possibility, but a possibility nonetheless.

  My ob-gyn walked into the room, and my breath caught in my throat. Axel reached over and grabbed my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles to try and soothe me. I gave his hand an appreciative squeeze as I met his gaze. I quickly looked away though, guilt gnawing at my insides; I just felt like such a failure for not being able to give us a baby. I knew he didn't blame me, but I knew he also wanted a kid.

  My doctor took a seat behind her desk before she fixed us with a look. I couldn't read her expression, and my heart dropped. I was preparing myself for the worst- again. There were so many times where I took a pregnancy test to see it was positive just to come here to be told it was inaccurate. I couldn't let myself get my hopes up again; each time I did ended with me sobbing into Axel's chest for days at a time.

We decided this would be the last time we would try, so we could move on to other options, like adopting. And I don't really have a problem with adopting- it's just that I really would like to know that me and Axel had created something together. Other healthy, twenty-six year old women could have a baby, so why couldn't I?

"Your results are back in," She said, and I squeezed Axel's hand tighter. "The test came back positive. Congratulations!"

I bursted into tears right on the spot and so did Axel. He fell to his knees from his seat and rested his head against my stomach, hugging me close. I threaded my fingers on one hand through his hair and the other I had resting over my heart in relief.

He looked up at me and broke out into an astonished and slightly unconvinced smile. "We're going to have a baby?"

"Yeah," I choked out, tears streaming down my cheeks. "We're going to have a baby!"

He stood up and gently took me with him and pulled me into a tight hug. He wept into my neck and I ran my arms up and down his back.

"I love you so much." He whispered.

"I love you, too.

                                  ******
Almost 9 months later

  "You guys didn't need to come here so soon. I'm not due for another four weeks." I told my brother, who was struggling to carry all three suitcases through the front door.

"You never know when it could happen. Danny-" He huffed as he got the suitcases through the door. "Danny had Toby three weeks earlier than the doctors had predicted."

"It's true." Danny said, walking through the door holding her six-year-old son's hand. "You really should've let me help you with those." She said pointedly at Tyler.

"I had them." He said dismissively.

"Yeah, and almost threw out your back in the process, Mr. Macho."