I'm Sorry

Chapter 30

Connor's P.O.V

I wake up the next morning to that annoying beeping sound coming from the heart monitors. I groan and reach for the red button to get a nurse.

Minutes later a nurse arrives.

"Yes sir?" She asks

"When will I be allowed to leave?"

"Um I'm not exactly sure but I'm assuming it'll be within the next week or two" she says with a smile

"Ok thank you"

"Will that be all?"

"Yes" I say

She turns to walk away

"WAIT! What's your name?"

"It's Susan" she smiles

"Thank you Susan" I say

She nods and walks out. I look over the Mekayla and my mood instantly changes. She has to wake up. I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't.

Hmm I wonder where everyone is? There's no one in the room besides me and Mekayla. Ok now where's my phone?

There it is! Reachhhhhhhh. I got it! Yes. Ok now to text Kian

--TEXT CONVO--

(C- Connor, K- Kian)

C- hey Kian

K- hey Connor! I didn't know. You where awake! No one told me.

C- yeah I woke up yesterday. But Mekayla hasn't woken up yet...

K- it's ok dude she'll wake up. When are you getting out of there?

C- why does everyone keep saying that? What if she doesn't wake up?

C- they said I'd get out within a week or two

K- I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you

C- it's ok just everyone's getting there hopes up that she'll wake up when the doctors don't even know if she will

K- yeah I know what you mean

C- I really love her ya know

K- yeah I know

C- I got a ring for her

K- your gonna propose?

C- yeah

K- but you've only been dating for a couple months

C- I know but I KNOW she's the one

K- well I'm happy for you

C- thanks. Do you think it's weird that I'm dating Caroline's best friend?

K- it's a little weird but not too much. Plus Caroline's all excited about you guys dating. She really wants you to marry her.

C- really. She said that?

K- yeah she talks about it nonstop

C- thanks great

K- yeah but I don't think Mekaylas ready to be a mother figure

C- yeah but she's almost 19 and I don't plan on having the wedding until she's at least 20 and Caroline's only 16

K- yeah I know

C- what's everyone doing

K- Jc, Ricky and Trevor are watching a movie, Sams at home, Caroline's asleep and Matts curled up in a ball on the floor crying

C- he really isn't taking it well is he?

K- nope. At first he had convinced himself that he was dreaming and he was gonna wake up but he had finally broke. Plus he hasn't slept since the night you guys got to the hospital

C- man I really wish I could help

K- me too man

C- well I can see why he's taking it hard

K- yeah me too. She's his only family and there really close

C- yeah. I'm surprised I have broke yet. It is my fault

K- Connor it isn't your fault and let's hope you don't break. It'll be really hard to handle two people

C- I know, so how long has Matt been in that position?

K- a couple hours

C- dang

K- yeah everyone's kinda taking it hard but Matt, Trevor and Caroline have been taking it the worst. Trevor hasn't eaten, no one can get him to. I've even tried force feeding him. Caroline wouldn't sleep so I'm glad she's sleeping now and Matt well you know how he is

C- how long has it been since Trevor ate?

K- 2 days ago

C- you have to get him to eat!

K- I know he's already starting to get weaker. We don't need another person in the hospital!

C- I know. Try taking him to his favorite restaurant

K- ok I'll try. I'll text you later how it goes

C- ok bye

K- bye

--END CONVO--

Well what do I do now?

Oh I know. I press the button and minutes later Susan appears

"Yes?"

"Can I sit beside my girlfriend?" I ask pointing to Mekayla

"Yeah. I just gotta go get a wheelchair" with that she leaves

I sit there for a minute until Susan comes back. She unhooks the IV and helps me into my wheelchair. She leaves

"Hey babe I don't know if you can hear me but I want to tell you some things. Well first. I love you so much. I can't wait for the day when you'll be Mrs. Franta. We can have our own family. You'll be my beautiful wife. Even right now when you look dead your still beautiful. You deserve to be treated like a princess and that's exactly how I'll treat you. I love you and that's all I really know."

I pause

"I'm sorry"

I set my head in my hands

"Even though your right beside me it feels like your a thousand miles away. I miss hearing you laugh. Seeing you smile. Listening to you sing. Just holding you in my arms. I miss you even though your right next to me" I say starting to cry which soon turns into loud sobs

I don't know how I'll be able to continue on with life if she doesn't wake up. I am so in love with her. Words can't even begin to describe how much I love her but I'll try. I love her more that Ricky love Pokemon. I love her more than Trevor loves to sing. I love her more than Troye loves tumblr. I love her more than a white girl loves Starbucks. I love her more than I love cats. I love the feeling I get when I'm around her. The feeling I get when I kiss her. I love her. I want her to know how much I love her but I don't know who to show her.

"Connor?" I hear a faint voice say