Part 2 of "In The Woods When First We Met"

223. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Thank you everybody who is reading my story...

...I feel narcissistic because seriously the highlight of my day is looking at the graph to see how many people read...lol. And your comments!!! Thank you for leaving me so many comments <3 

Also there are still a few more chapters to go, but I wanted to say that when I do get to the last chapter, I will put up a note saying it is the last one, so you will know beforehand.

Also about the depression there is a light at the end I promise...Billy leaving helped...but depression is not easy to fix. But don't worry because someone comes to visit her who can relate to her and THAT is what does it for her. Sorry to leave you with a couple more chapters of depression but I really think you will like the way the story ends!! Thanks for hanging in there and going through it with her/me. I can't wait to post the final chapters.

---

The next morning, Anne thought she would wake up feeling different somehow. She rolled over in bed, sighed, and stretched her arms above her head. She took a big breath and sat up, expecting to have a sense of lightness now. ...But the weight that had settled itself in her chest had not lifted.

"It's because it's all so sudden," she said aloud to herself. "I need time to soak it in. Once it really hits me that he's gone, I'll feel light as a cloud."

She decided to stay in bed until that happened.

Marilla came up to check on her, and brought with her a glass of milk. She no longer bothered bringing Anne breakfast; it was never eaten and sat exposed until it was finally thrown out. The most Anne would do for breakfast was drink a little.

Anne took the glass from her and drank a little bit of it, but then gave it back.

"You can do better than that," Marilla told her.

Anne shook her head, pushing it away...she was too afraid it would upset her stomach, which seemed to be in knots for some reason.

"Anne, get up and come downstairs, won't you?" Marilla asked, trying to be gentle with her. "Now that Billy's left, you can do anything you like- you can go into town, you can go to school, there's church..."

Anne nodded. "I know. I will."

"Why don't you get dressed and we'll take you into town now? We could go look at material. You can choose something pretty, and I'll start on a new dress for you to wear when you go back to school. You could go back as soon as it's finished. Wouldn't you like that?"

Anne felt a sense of panic tighten her insides the longer Marilla went on about going out to town and school.

But she told herself it was just a weakness of her lungs from going so long without fresh air.

"I don't think I ought to yet," Anne said carefully. "Maybe this afternoon."

But Gilbert came over in the afternoon, so Anne had him as an excuse of why she could not go into town yet.

Marilla suggested that Anne get up and go for a walk outdoors with Gilbert, and Anne thought that sounded nice...until she got up out of bed and realized she was afraid to look out of her own window.

That was when she began to get upset. Things were not happening the way they were supposed to.

She found she could not tell anyone what was wrong, in part because she herself did not know. She knew only that something about re-joining the living was making her feel terrified, and she wanted to shut her bedroom door and stay hidden away forever.